Toes to the Nose!

I have to admit that I’m quite preoccupied with baby poop lately. I assure you it’s not some weird new fetish of mine, but is it too much to ask to want to see a diaper full of it at least every other day?

Since Ava is no longer breastfeeding exclusively, gone are the days of regularly occurring, non-offensive, runny, mustard poops. Even though that meant changing 3 to 4 poopy diapers a day, I have to say oh, how I miss it!

Now I hastily check each diaper hoping to get a smelly surprise. Who knew that becoming a member of the “mommy club” meant so closely monitoring the contents of your baby’s diapers?!

When she goes through a whole day or two (or going on three today!) without any grunts and nary a bowel movement save the ocassional toots, I start to get concerned.

When my husband goes upstairs to change her diaper, I yell up, “Any poop yet?” To which he usually replies, “No poop,” secretly relieved to have dodged that bullet. (It’s both amusing and disturbing how often and in what detail we can talk about baby poop around here.)

In the meantime, I prepare to perform my pooping exercises on her that go something like this. I lay her flat on the floor and pump her legs from a straight out position to putting her “toes to the nose!” as I like to exclaim, making the exercise into a game. I also massage her lower abdomen in a circular motion with my thumbs, thinking that maybe it will get her intestines moving.

Actually I can’t take credit for the logistics of the “toes to the nose” exercise. After Ava was born and had gone several days in the hospital without pooping, a nurse who prided herself on her ability to get any baby to poop (all the other nurses raved about her) came in and performed the ritual, while using a rectal thermometer to stimulate her uh, rectally. She was successful (Ava pooped a lot!) and was able to maintain her flawless pooping record.

I can’t say I’m ready to inflict the probe upon her yet. I just wish she would poop already so I could get out my Sharpie and mark a big “P” on the calendar and start counting the hours until her next big movement.

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4 thoughts on “Toes to the Nose!

  1. lol..hilarious and oh sooo true. I am both lucky and unlucky to say that we do not have the problem here. We do check everyday to make sure that Ewan has a poop we are happy to say that he has only gone two days without pooping in his entire life. Usually we get two a day. Sometimes I wonder if he has been so regular cuz I started with fruits and veggies rather then rice cereal.

  2. LOL. Yes, oh yes, the things we can talk about and in great detail when we are parents :)

    Poopies don’t bug me, but I don’t look forward to them either. I am always glad when she goes a few days between poops. I know she isn’t constipated though, so I guess that helps to relax when she goes many days without one.

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