School’s out for-evah!

In an attempt to lighten the mood around here (my husband Jody says my blog is “pretty heavy”), I will write about something other than the injustices in the world. Though while it may not be heavy, I assure you, this post is still a rant. ;)

“School’s out for summer. School’s out for-evah!”
Well, not really, but it sure feels like it’s been out forever and it’s only the first week the neighborhood kids (specifically the girl gang that lives next door) have been out!

Let me give ya a little background info here. I live next door to a family of nine – a husband, a wife, four blonde daughters between the ages of about 5 and 12 (that consitutes a gang, wouldn’t you say?), a dog and two cats.

The girls run rampant (often barefoot) through the neighborhood, generally with their dog in tow. They have this oh-so-lovely habit of traipsing across my lawn on the way back to their house, making track marks in the grass and often leaving crap along the way – Barbies, balls for the dog, Tupperware(?), ropes, whatever.

The girl gang has been sighted jumping on their backyard trampoline in their bathing suits in all kinds of weather – rain, snow, when it is 40 degrees out, whenever. I guess when you’re a kid, you don’t have a temperature gauge in your head that makes you think, “Hmm, it’s cold out here, maybe I should have a sweatshirt on instead of my bikini.” And their dog, who, when not out galavanting over the neighborhood with the girls, spends most of his time in their front yard, has dug holes in our yard as well as peed on the grass turning it an attractive shade of yellow. “Buddy” can often be spotted jumping on the trampoline as well.

The “gang” also enjoys riding around on their bikes – 4 across – in the street, making it nearly impossible for cars to pass. Thankfully we live on a street that gets little car traffic, but there have been ocassions we’ve had to slam on our brakes to avoid disrupting the gang.

Because the kids and dog are always out and about, my dogs get stirred up and feel the need to bark. I’m sure they are thinking, “why does ‘Buddy’ get to roam the neighborhood and not us?” Which would also explain their many “prison breaks” from our backyard lately.

And while we’re on the topic of barking, do you think a certain individual has the right to complain about my dogs barking when she has thrown treats over the fence to them in the past in an effort to get them to stop? (Which worked quite well by the way.) Now she suddenly doesn’t want to give them treats when they bark and somehow it is our fault that they continue to bark? Have ya ever heard of Pavlov’s dog? They’ve been conditioned to bark. Why the hell would they stop now when they think they can get fed for it? (Oh yeah, one of the gang members likes to hang over the fence and “talk” to the dogs too. I’m sure that helps matters.)

That brings me to the cats that, not unlike the rest of the family, roam the streets at will. We put some sand under our front porch because some of the dirt had washed away. Well, guess what became their new litter box. Ewww! Nice to walk out your front door to smell cat piss and see piles of poop. Thankfully that situation was remedied once we put some dirt over the sand. Say bye-bye to your litter box, kitties.

Another one of my beefs has to do with the fact that they store their bikes (all 6 of them) alongside their garage, which is what I see when I look out my front door. They are conveniently hidden from *their* view, which I guess is all that matters.

Anyway, several months ago, I was tickled pink to see a For Sale sign planted firmly in their front yard. Given the timing, I figured they had a good chance of selling the house and moving by the time summer rolled around, thus leaving me to bitch about the new neighbors (whomever they might be, cuz I gotta bitch about somebody, right?). But a few months passed by, and before their Realtor put out the coveted “SOLD” sign, the For Sale was removed. *Gasp!* It now resides in their garage, taunting me as if to say, “We’re not leeeeeeaving.” Ugh! :(

So it looks like we’re in for yet another long summer of hiding in our house, lest we subject ourselves to being accosted by the gang members yelling over the fence or running us down in the street. ;)

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3 thoughts on “School’s out for-evah!

  1. Man, did you have our old neighbors in Colorado or what? When we were selling our house, I was crossing my fingers that the “girls jumping on trampolines” would take a break from their daily (and nightly) performance. Unless I scheduled the showing during the dad’s beer mowing, or the mom’s latest shouting rant. YIKES!!!!

  2. Jody says “trampolines are the pools of Colorado.” In that everybody’s got one.

    Thanks for correcting my spelling by the way. :) Misspelled words are a pet-peeve of mine and yet there I did it, misspelling “trampoline.” Gah.

    Anyway, we’ve heard our fair share of shouting rants around here too. Oh, and “Buddy” the dog likes to wander off, so you can often hear mom yelling all over the neighborhood for him. Fun stuff.

    In writing this response I just thought of a few more reasons why I dislike my neighbors. Hehehe. It’s always something.

    Glad you were able to sell your house despite the tramp performances. :)

  3. Tramp performance HA HA!
    BTW, wasn’t correcting your spelling–just making a terrible reference to “The Man Show” a terrible Comedy Central show where girls jump on trampolines at the end of the show. I never thought about it, but they are the pools of Colorado. Must be lack of water, or something. Anyway, you know you are in trouble when you schedule house showings around your neighbors (and an amorous woodpecker, but that is a whole other story!)

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