I had a dream about some old friends (and a former friend) last night. This time they were all going on a cruise without me, but I heard about it or was invited or something at the last minute so I decided to hang out with them for a bit. I didn’t buy a ticket for the cruise so I could only stay on the boat until it was about to leave the port. (Weird.) Anyway, I don’t remember much about it, but it seems like me and my former friend were able to work out some of our issues, though it was definitely awkward and strange.
I am sure I dreamt about this because I recently learned that the old gang is getting together for a trip to visit one of our mutual friends. We all did the trip together last year, but since then, me and the one friend had a major falling out (that I, to this day, still don’t understand) and so they are going without me this year. (Which is fine by the way. No hard feelings to any parties involved.)
Anyway, despite the several inches of snow we have on the ground, I was doing some spring cleaning today and came across this big tote box thing full of paraphernalia from planning my wedding. I have about 6 wedding planning books as well as several wedding/bride magazines, a slew of receipts from our wedding stuff, a bajillion wedding and shower cards and all kinds of notes relating to our wedding. In addition to this, I found “souvenirs” from friends’ weddings – including about 10 programs, a handful of napkins and matches and a bottle of bubbles from the one friend that I had the falling out with. I’m not sure why I saved all that stuff (I can see one program, but 10??!), but, for a number of reasons, I couldn’t see holding onto it any longer. I parted with a bunch of MY wedding stuff (our recycle bin will be full of paper this week!) and plan to donate all of my books and magazines (God willing, I’ll never need those again!), so I parted with her wedding memorabilia as well.
I’m not sure how this all ties in together, but it felt good to get some cleaning done today, even if it was a very small dent in the huge amount of stuff I need to go through. It felt sort of like an emotional cleansing too. First I had the dream that things had been patched up with this friend and then I physically removed some of the stuff related to her from my life. Not saying that I want her out of my life, but I think fresh starts are always good.