The circumcision post

It’s amazing the number of things you never have to consider before becoming a parent – breastfeed or formula feed; cloth diapers or disposables; vaccinations; when to start solids; organic vs. conventional foods; public school, private school or homeschool; and, of course, if you are having a boy – whether or not to circumcise.

I hope to write about my feelings, opinions and choices regarding circumcision and my son, knowing full well that everyone who reads this blog will not agree with me. I think that anyone who has a son will have their list of reasons for why they decided for or against circumcision. I simply wish to share my reasons here (and some of the information I came across along the way) for deciding against it.

I hope that by including some links below to reputable sources, other parents who are trying to decide what is best for their son can make an informed decision – whether it be to circumcise or not.

I am not here to judge and it is my hope that any discussion that happens below in the comments remain civil and respectful, despite how strongly you may feel about this topic. I also ask that any “anonymous” posters please sign their posts with a name. Thank you.

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The short and sweet answer as to why Jody and I are not having our son circumcised is that we can’t find a single reason to indicate that it is a necessary procedure.

I believe that the body we are born with, in its entirety, is that way for a reason. I think that each different part has a unique purpose for existing. If we didn’t need a certain part, I believe that over time we would evolve so that it no longer existed.

In doing my research on circumcision, I came across a lot of interesting information. Some of it has to do with the origins of circumcision in the United States, some about the actual procedure, some about the effects of circumcision and about the current rates of circumcision in the U.S. I read a lot more than I will blog about here, but these are some things I thought were worth mentioning.

“Circumcision started in America during the masturbation hysteria of the Victorian Era, when a few American doctors circumcised boys to punish them for masturbating. Victorian doctors knew very well that circumcision denudes, desensitizes, and disables the penis. Nevertheless, they were soon claiming that circumcision cured epilepsy, convulsions, paralysis, elephantiasis, tuberculosis, eczema, bed-wetting, hip-joint disease, fecal incontinence, rectal prolapse, wet dreams, hernia, headaches, nervousness, hysteria, poor eyesight, idiocy, mental retardation, and insanity. In fact, no procedure in the history of medicine has been claimed to cure and prevent more diseases than circumcision. As late as the 1970s, leading American medical textbooks still advocated routine circumcision as a way to prevent masturbation.” — Paul M. Fleiss, MD The Case Against Circumcision

Uh, I’m not a guy and no expert, but I am pretty sure that circumcision does NOT prevent masturbation.

“Today the reasons given for circumcision have been updated to play on contemporary fears and anxieties; but one day they, too, will be considered irrational. Now that such current excuses as the claim that this procedure prevents cancer and sexually transmitted diseases have been thoroughly discredited, circumcisers will undoubtedly invent new ones. But if circumcisers were really motivated by purely medical considerations, the procedure would have died out long ago, along with leeching, skull-drilling, and castration. The fact that it has not suggests that the compulsion to circumcise came first, the “reasons,” later.” — Fleiss

The fact that new reasons to continue the circumcision practice are being invented is rather disturbing if you ask me.

One website I came across in my research shows step-by-step (graphic) pictures of an actual circumcision of a newborn boy. What Happens During Circumcision There is also a video there, but the pictures alone were more than enough for me. I don’t think I could’ve stomached the video. I had never thought much about the actual procedure itself. I figured that the foreskin was clamped and removed without much effort and the baby was left to heal over the next week or whatever. I didn’t think about the baby needing to be restrained, whether or not any type of anesthesia is used, the foreskin needing to be pried apart from the penis, the amount of bleeding involved, the raw exposed penis, etc. Not to mention the child crying in pain. :( It was not easy to look at.

There’s a laundry list of “things” that are lost forever when a circumcision takes place. While all of these things in the list are noteworthy, I thought I would mention a few here that stood out to me:

“When a baby boy’s natural and intact penis is “circumcised,” this is what is lost forever:
** An estimated 240 feet of microscopic nerves, including branches of the dorsal nerve.
** Several feet of blood vessels, including the frenular artery and branches of the dorsal artery. The loss of this dense vascularity interrupts normal blood flow to the shaft and glans of the penis, obviously damaging its natural function and possibly stunting its complete and healthy development.
** The immunological defense system of the soft mucosa, which may produce antibacterial and antiviral proteins such as lysozyme, also found in mothers milk, and plasma cells, which secrete immunoglobulin antibodies.
** The essential “gliding” mechanism. If unfolded and spread out flat, the average adult foreskin measures about 15 square inches, the size of a postcard. This abundance of specialized, self-lubricating mobile skin gives the natural penis its unique hallmark ability to smoothly “glide” in and out within itself—permitting natural non-abrasive masturbation and intercourse, without drying out the vagina or requiring artificial lubricants.” — Gary L. Harryman – What is Lost to Circumcision

I know some parents may be concerned about whether or not an intact penis requires special care. Personally, having no experience with an uncircumcised penis in the past, I had no idea what the answer was before asking friends of mine who’s sons were left intact. FYI:

“The natural penis requires no special care. A child’s foreskin, like his eyelids, is self-cleansing. For the same reason it is inadvisable to lift the eyelids and wash the eyeballs, it is inadvisable to retract a child’s foreskin and wash the glans. Immersion in plain water during the bath is all that is needed to keep the intact penis clean.” — Fleiss

Also worth noting that the foreskin should never be forced to retract before it is ready.

“As noted, the foreskin and glans develop as one tissue. Separation will evolve over time. It should not be forced. When will separation occur? Each child is different. Separation may occur before birth; this is rare. It may take a few days, weeks, months, or even years. This is normal. Although many foreskins will retract by age 5, there is no need for concern even after a longer period. Some boys do not attain full retractability of the foreskin until adolescence.” — Newborns: Care of the Uncircumcised Penis

Regarding the rate of circumcision in the world and U.S.:

“Circumcision is almost unheard of in Europe, South America, and non-Muslim Asia. In fact, only 10 to 15 percent of men throughout the world are circumcised, the vast majority of whom are Muslim. The neonatal circumcision rate in the western U.S. has now fallen to 34.2 percent.” — Fleiss

“The nationwide circumcision rate had been fluctuating in the low 60 percent range for some years, but a decline in the percentage of boys circumcised started in 2002 and continued into 2003. From 2002 to 2003 declines occured in all four census regions. Non-circumcision has been the norm in the Western Region for more than a decade.” — U.S. Circumcision Incidence

I think it’s important to note that the circumcision rate is dropping in the United States because the old parental concern of not wanting a child to be teased because they look differently from the other boys will no longer be an issue if the ratio of circ’d boys to uncirc’d boys is approaching 50-50. I know in my own circle of friends, the ratio of circ’d boys to uncirc’d boys (babies and toddlers I mean) is probably more like 20 (circ’d) to 80 (uncirc’d) or even slightly higher in favor of the uncircumcised boys. Some parents I know (both in “real life” and on message boards) had their first son circumcised before they had done much research on the topic, and then, after learning more about the procedure, chose not to circumcise their second son.

(And now at the risk of sharing TMI…) Having never been with an uncircumcised man (yes, you can infer from that that Jody is circumcised), I was very interested to learn that not only is the pleasure of the male affected by circumcision, but also the pleasure of the female. (I mentioned a bit about this above as well.)

“One of the foreskin’s functions is to facilitate smooth, gentle movement between the mucosal surfaces of the two partners during intercourse. The foreskin enables the penis to slip in and out of the vagina nonabrasively inside its own slick sheath of self-lubricating, movable skin. The female is thus stimulated by moving pressure rather than by friction only, as when the male’s foreskin is missing.” — Fleiss

Like I said above, I couldn’t find a reason to convince me that circumcision is necessary for our son. I don’t feel the need to provide a list of all of the reasons against it. They are easy enough to find online. By reading through some of the links I provided below, you can read more information for yourself if you so desire.

I feel it is worth noting that I tried to find some pro-circumcision websites to include in my list (to keep it balanced), but 99% of the information I found “out there” is anti-circumcision. The one site (a members-only list serv “where circumcision is discussed and always supported”) I did find turned out to be centered around pornography associated with circumcision so I removed it from my list. The fact that it is a porn site is not apparent from anything posted on the public side of it.

In conclusion, I don’t feel that it is my right to make the decision to remove a part of my son’s anatomy without his consent. I believe that circumcision is a personal choice – one that should be made by the person who owns the penis. By leaving my son intact, he can always decide when he gets older that he wants to have a circumcision. If I were to circumcise him as a baby, he wouldn’t have the option of taking that back. I feel it is his body, his penis, and his choice.

Resources:

National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers

Circumcision Resource Center

The Case Against Circumcision – an eye-opening, very informative (IMO) article By Paul M. Fleiss, MD, MPH (interesting to note that Fleiss is Jewish)

My Son: The Little Jew with a Foreskin – By Stacey Greenberg

The Case Against Circumcision Discussion Forum on Mothering.com

What Happens During Circumcision? – Graphic photos/video of the circumcision process on a newborn

NEW AAP CIRCUMCISION POLICY RELEASED

Protect Your Uncircumcised Son: Expert Medical Advice for Parents

Circumcision Information and Resource Pages

Doctors Opposing Circumcision

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87 thoughts on “The circumcision post

  1. Pingback: Protecting the penis | Crunchy Domestic Goddess

  2. This is such a fantastic post, and I’m glad you put it out there.

    In my own life, circumcision was normal – most of our male family members have had the procedure. My husband is circ’d but has very strong feelings against it. I didn’t much care one way or the other, but he made the decision and I am so glad he did. I read more and more after he brought it up and after watching a video of the procedure being done, I decided he was absolutely right now to have that done to our son. I am still shocked at how ignorant I was!

  3. Oops, I wasn’t very coherant. In my long winded way, I meant to say that I am glad that my husband made the decision not to have our son circumcized because I probably would have made the wrong decision!

  4. Pingback: Passing on the love… « Half Pint Pixie

  5. There isn’t one parenting decision that has caused me more grief, guilt and second-guessing than this one. I left both of my boys intact (my husband is cut) — and I hope it was the right decision, but I always worry about what THEY will wish for as they get older. Will they be self-conscious with women? With their friends as teenagers? Will girls think they are “gross” and so on… I should just move to Argentina, maybe? ;-)

  6. My husband and I have two sons, the oldest is nine, and circumsized, the youngest, age one is not. The experience with the oldest was traumatic with everyone involved, so we did our research and decided against it with the second son. When we informed the nurse at the hospital that we were not going to have our child mutilated, you would have thought that we were going to feed him to wild wolves. She felt the need to spout off on the subject for quite a while. Needless to say, I asked to speak to the nurse manager on duty, and the problem was taken care of, but what upset me was that she was trying to make me feel like I needed to mutilate my child to be a good mother.

  7. Great post! (Even though I’m finding it a bit late.) I will send this to my husband. We are not even pregnant but one day may have a boy and I am opposed to circumcision while he is for it.

    Thank goodness our firstborn (now 1 year old) was a girl! Now we have plenty of time to research before having another one.

  8. Very well thought out post, unless one has reservations about the thinking and writing of the chief expert witness, Paul Fleiss, MD.

    Why does circumcision persist in the USA, despite condoms, daily showers, and it being trivial to give a the penis a rinse in the sink before sex? It is because a parent who does not circumcise a child is reminded of the fact every time (s)he changes a diaper, gives a bath. Millions of Americans of parenting age have never seen a foreskin in the flesh. Mom and Dad really don’t want to think about checking retractability. They dread having to be hands on here, because manipulating the foreskin is deeply sexual. They are afraid that horrors will lurk under the foreskin. Dad thinks back on his own adolescence and says to himself “any boy who looked like that would have gotten razzed real bad, and I probably would have joined in.” Mom thinks “I would have been really grossed out by dating a guy who looked like that, and I’m sure that will be true of the girls he dates in high school and college.”

    For people, such as Americans, who are circumcised at birth and have no religious or cultural reason to circumcise, the foreskin can trigger powerful curiosity and envy. For some, the foreskin is the most erogenous part of the male body. be sexually disturbing. These emotions can be very disturbing and embarrassing.

    Best not to go there. And so Mom hands him to a nurse who takes him away to have the offending part cut off and thrown away. But this only postpones the problem for another generation. Sooner or later, America will have to face up to its persecution and demonization of the foreskin. Girls out there, you haven’t really fully experienced sex until you’ve pumped a foreskin.

  9. You make some really great points about why not to circumcise. We circumcised both of our boys, but I do believe it is a personal and individual decision one should research before making. I can definitely understand why you would choose not to circumcise your son, and your decision is becoming more and more common as people educate themselves about the topic. There’s actually a really great debate about whether to circumcise or not at http://www.opposingviews.com/questions/should-boys-be-circumcised. Experts from both sides debate the issue and make some really valid points. Definitely worth a look!

  10. Take all the research and replace every instance of “boy” with “girl” and every instance of “penis” with “vagina” and it becomes blindingly obvious how barbaric the practice of “circumcision” really is, regardless of gender. Somehow it’s ok to debate mutilating a little boys genitals, but suddenly becomes horrifying when discussing it in relation to little girls. Circumcision is barbarism plain and simple. Why not take off his pinkie toes while you’ve got the knife out? Not really necessary and might make him 20% less prone to athletes foot!

    All the research articles above that you used to arrive at your decision very well argued, but I’m constantly shocked that there is even a debate on this prehistoric skin cutting tradition.

    In 100 years people will be as horrified at this barbaric throwback of a practice as they are about today things like blood letting and slavery.

    As a father of two boys, I’m so glad you arrived at the correct decision here!

  11. Excellent post, thanks so much for doing the research!

    We opted not to have either of our boys circ’d and even had my mother (a nurse) try to guilt us into it with the ‘look like Daddy’ argument, lol.

    What scares me is how endemic it still is here in Houston. Baby #2 was born at home, but my first one was in a hospital and though we’d planned ahead that he wouldn’t be circ’d, one morning I had a dreadful feeling and sent my hubby off to get the baby RIGHT NOW! I’m so glad I had that gut feeling, because they had been prepping our son for the mutilation. That hospital did so many, it was their routine and it apparently didn’t occur to them to actually read our orders to find out we didn’t want it.

    Now son #1 is a teenager and very proud and pleased to be uncut. As someone pointed out earlier, kids can handle the truth, something the Disneyfication of our culture disregards daily.

    Keep up the good work and thanks again! You have a wonderful voice through your blog–we need more folks like you!

    Jodie B
    walkingwaters.wordpress.com

  12. Dear reader, the vast majority of the human race that is neither Moslem nor from darkest Africa expects the penis to have a moveable sheath. Americans are out of step here, when compared to other medically and sexually sophisticated countries. In intact societies, the bared glans is seen as strongly sexual, and the glans is bared only when urinating and during sex.

    I am distressed to read here of so many accounts of staff in American maternity wards resisting parents who do not wish their baby boy to go under the knife. This is blatantly unethical behaviour.
    BTW, the one time I gave birth in a USA hospital, in 1967, I was not asked whether I wanted a son circumcised; it was done without my consent.

    The foreskin is a reservoir of extra skin that naturally accommodates erection.
    In my opinion, the intact penis, if clean, looks hotter. So much easier for manual foreplay. Oral is great if he rinses off first. The foreskin makes possible intercourse between the upper thighs. Male lube is very important for me, and it’s much easier to “milk” a guy if he has a foreskin I can tease and stroke. A really hot experience is when you go partying with a dude, you both have a good time, and he’s turned on by other girls as well as yourself. Then go home to bed. If you’re lucky, he will be very gooey under the foreskin, in a way that makes penetration super easy. This is utterly impossible for cut guys, because all the lube gets soaked up by their shorts.

    I would love to read a careful study of cut versus uncut vaginal sex. Kristen O’Hara’s work does not, IMHO, make the grade.

    Re STDs: it is easy to forget that when a guy contracts an embarrassing infection, he has misused his penis in some way. If you play the field and sow some oats, you got to break out the condoms. The foreskin is a minor accessory at best.

  13. My intent is not to offend, but I personally don’t think religion is a good enough reason to circumcise. Maybe that shows my bias against religion. I would question my religion before I’d consider circumcision.
    “If religion and its arrogance were not involved, no healthy society would permit this primitive amputation, or allow any surgery to be practiced on the genitalia without the full and informed consent of the person concerned.” – Christopher Hitchens from http://fearofignorance.wordpress.com/2007/11/02/hitchens-on-circumcision/

    I feel this is a fair criticism.

  14. Both sides need to calm down. My wife and I traded yeast infections back and forth for 6 years. I was developing a tight foreskin and had surgery to remove it. Recovery was very painful. I’m sure it is painful for a newborn, however they seem to heal a lot faster. The infections stopped for both of us after the surgery. Things functioned perfectly fine after the surgery. The foreskin is not magical skin. There are way too many “experts” in cyberland. Parents need to decide what is best for their sons and go with that decision. Do not give excuses to your sons for the decision you made that you thought was best. Boys needs to be encouraged to feel confident about their bodies whether they are circumcised or not. I do not understand why so many people care one way or the other over parents’ decision on circumcision.

  15. The only thing to be said is that circumcision is barbaric. When people talk about female circumcision, it is with horror. Why should it be any different for our sons? Both are equally wrong. Just another sick by-product of religion…
    And as for “looking like daddy”, would you cut off any other part of your child’s body, just because you were missing said part?

  16. oh, and I think it *is* something we should all care about, just as we should care about stopping any other form of child abuse.

  17. sylvia-

    I’m glad you addressed the oral issue. I am not a mother yet, but hope to have kids one day and if it is a boy, this will obviously be a decision I have to make.

    The only reason I can think of for having a boy cir’d is so that he will not have issues with potential mates. For example, the one uncir’d guy I went with didn’t tell me about it (well, obviously, right? why should he?). Well we really liked each other, one thing led to another, and I ended up giving him oral. However, it was the most unpleasant sexual experience of my life. I couldn’t stand the feel of the foreskin much less the build up within. It was beyond awful to taste and would not have been there if he had been cir’d.

    In the OP’s post, she brings up this quote:

    “The natural penis requires no special care. A child’s foreskin, like his eyelids, is self-cleansing. For the same reason it is inadvisable to lift the eyelids and wash the eyeballs, it is inadvisable to retract a child’s foreskin and wash the glans. Immersion in plain water during the bath is all that is needed to keep the intact penis clean.” — Fleiss

    So assuming that an uncir’d male should not retract to clean, how can you enjoy oral if he is not fully washed?

  18. Pingback: Babies’ foreskins used to make cosmetics. Is this ethical? | Crunchy Domestic Goddess

  19. Pingback: The circumcision post Crunchy Domestic Goddess | Joint Pain Relief

  20. I love your website!! LOVE! And I *LOVE* that you have included Dr. Paul Fleiss on your website. He was my pediatrician as a child and he is wonderful! I wish I lived close to his office and I would take my children there! I have a 9 month old son and we intended to circumcise without any real good reason other than hubby and I thought it’s what you do. Right? “Tradition?” That was until I started reading about what it actually is – and I couldn’t imagine that PETA would allow an animal to go through with that, let alone your child, your son. There are so many things that can go wrong. To name a few: infertility, size determined by cutting off too much, and burns thus permanent damage to the area. I am not a man – but I can gather that I wouldn’t want that done to me! A few years ago, I argued that female gender mutilation is really the same as male circumcision. I really don’t see a difference between the two.

    Thanks for posting a great article and having a great discussion about this!! It’s a very important issue.

  21. I am Jewish, and believe in living a holistic life, so for each of my two pregnancies, I was plagued by indecision. If I were to have a boy, what would I do? All of the penises I know are circumsised (incl. my non-Jewish huz), and I worried that not circumcising would cut off the door to leading a religious life, should he so choose. My husband was totally respectful of my dilema and left the choice to me.

    Thankfully, we had girls. I still don’t know what I would have done.

  22. Pingback: Should tradition trump reason? Circumcision and more…

  23. Wow I really wish I had read this before my son was born. I couldn’t seem to get any straight answers about circumcision. Thanks for the post.

  24. Pingback: Wednesday August 26, 2009 « Anjie's Blog

  25. Wow, it seems like the majority of the reasons against circumcision are from one source, Heidi Fleiss’s dad. In the medical community, he’s widely recognized as someone who took advantage of the circumcision controversy to make money. I would have sought a second (and third and fourth) opinion.

  26. perhaps just making mention of ‘a’ source, instead of the only source is what they’re doing by bringing mr. fleiss up.

  27. I decided to circumcise my son based on my research and my husband’s wishes and in retrospect, I regret it. It was obviously painful for him, and if I could go back and do something differently, I absolutely would.

    That said, as a scientist, the information in this post is not
    thorough and includes a lot of statements from others that are factually untrue. I am not questioning any mother’s right to make her own decision and I can tell that yours was heartfelt. However, it appears that much of what you read was anti-circumcision propaganda. Some of the claims made simply aren’t supported by the science. I think in the end you made a great decision :-) but there are real STD prevention related reasons to circumcise and if people go to the actual journal articles instead of relying on second and third hand info, they’ll see that they haven’t been “debunked” as the quote above says. I’m not saying it’s enough of a reason to do it, but thorough research should include the accurate information. I think every parent should make an informed decision, and being informed means knowing all the facts.

    Here’s a useful site with links to the relevant studies:
    http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/circumcision.htm

  28. I just wanted to verify the sex claim. I have lately had the pleasure (ha) of the company of American men and English men. (not at the same time) Most American men in my age group are circ’d while most English men are intact. I first noticed the difference during fellatio. When doing with American men, this requires some mental preparation, jaw stretches and putting something on TV because it may take a while. When I did this for my English companion, I was amazed that it was actually fun for both of us; it’s a bit like a clitoris on a stick, so well-adjusted females need not fear it’s unfamiliarity. It’s softer, as in not calloused, and the movable parts are pretty cool. I didn’t have time to get bored and he expressed his enjoyment from beginning to the end, about 5 minutes later. There was no, “oh, I’m so close, keep doing that” (for another 10 minutes) like with circ’d men. I think circumcision is the reason so many women hate performing fellatio, the decreased sensitivity turns it into a bit of a chore.

    As for intercourse, female pleasure and the foreskin, I am unable to comment. I use condoms.

    I’m submitting this anonymously for obvious reasons.

    Signed,
    J

  29. As a registered nurse, I am much more pro-circumcision than not. My husband just got married and when we have children-any males will be circumcised. I have to say I agree with many people on here who said “Why the controversy?”. If you want to, do it, if not, don’t. Unless it is for religious purposes, I don’t believe there is a morally or ethically correct way. From a nursing prospective, I worked in NICU for a while and found that circumcision is done with the use of local anesthetic and the nurses generally gave “sweeties” which is like a sugar covered pacifier to suck on. The baby was never shackled to a bed and I never saw an infected circumcision the entire time I worked there. Additionally, I know many circumcised men, none of whom remember being circumcised. I transferred to adult emergency medicine where I had to care for many adult males, both circumcised and not. I have to say that the uncircumcised penis is a breeding ground for bacteria and infection for anyone who is unable to clean themselves (or just doesn’t care to). Having also worked in a nursing home, I’ve seem uncircumcised penises on that end of life and again, these men would have been better off being circumcised- they would have avoided unnecessary infections and been able to keep themselves clean.

    Also, the reason why there are not pro-circumcision websites out there for you to find is likely because it is an accepted medical practice in America. There is no need to promote or defend it. And when it comes to porn, if you search any and all things regarding the penis you will probably be linked to porn…regardless of whether it is circumcised or uncircumcised that you are searching for.

  30. I realize I am late on this conversation, but the more I read the more I wanted to comment. The decision to circumcise or not was a really big one for my husband (who is circumcised) and I. We decided not to, and I am so very glad we did. The more I thought about it the more I felt it was just not my place to make a decision like that about his body. It had developed that way in my womb, and I had so much respect for that. My husband has no regrets about being circumcised, but felt the same way that I did- it just wasn’t our place to make that decision. As for our son feeling out of place in the future, which seems to be the most common pro-circ reason, there are so many people now who are making the decision not to circumcise, it’s much different than when we were growing up. I respect every parent’s choice, but the thought of having that done to my own child made me feel so sad. Although he wouldn’t have remembered it when he was older, he would still have had to experience it at his most fragile and vulnerable time.

  31. The suggestion that the uncircumcised penis is a “breeding ground for bacteria and infection” my be true, but if it is true for a penis then it is certainly true for a vagina. We don’t advocate the removal of the labia to ensure a clean vagina. We rightly hold such a practice to be barbaric no matter why it is performed. In fact, any warm, moist fold of skin can become infected given the right set of circumstances. I don’t really feel that this argument is a valid reason to support circumcision.

    That said I really appreciated reading this post and the many comments. I think it is great to have so many different viewpoints in one place.

  32. I have done a lot of research and at the time my boyfriend and I decided not to corcumcise our son, how ever, this has caused my boy so many infections. As much as I clean it often, it’s not enough and has. Ended up in ER with a very swollen penis. He cries everyone he pees! :( so now I have to circumcise him. I hate to think how much he will go thru. And with all the info out there, I think it has me feeling so guilty doing this. Thank you for you post. It has been helpful as wel

  33. “For example, the one uncir’d guy I went with didn’t tell me about it (well, obviously, right? why should he?). Well we really liked each other, one thing led to another, and I ended up giving him oral. However, it was the most unpleasant sexual experience of my life. I couldn’t stand the feel of the foreskin much less the build up within. It was beyond awful to taste and would not have been there if he had been cir’d.”

    Reply: One should always wash the tip of the penis before fellatio. This is the case regardless of circ status.

    “The natural penis requires no special care. A child’s foreskin, like his eyelids, is self-cleansing. For the same reason it is inadvisable to lift the eyelids and wash the eyeballs, it is inadvisable to retract a child’s foreskin and wash the glans. Immersion in plain water during the bath is all that is needed to keep the intact penis clean.” — Fleiss
    “So assuming that an uncir’d male should not retract to clean, how can you enjoy oral if he is not fully washed?”

    Reply: One does not force back the infant and child foreskin to clean under it. Sometime in childhood or adolescence. the foreskin detaches from the glans and becomes retractable. Every boy should decide for himself when this is the case. When that is achieved, he should retract for 5-10 second during every shower, and clean the end of his penis.

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