I’m only dreaming

I’ve been having a lot of bizarre dreams lately. Several have involved me leaving Julian somewhere without any expressed breast milk or any way of feeding him. It freaks me out!

In one dream (the first in this series), I left him in a parked car(!) in a parking garage, while I went to an amusement park! After spending a few hours at the park I remembered he was in there and I rushed back to the car to find him crying his head off. I could hear his cries as I tried to get to him. What an awful feeling. I remember thinking in my dream that I had hoped someone called the police so that he was at least being taken care of.

I dreamt last night that I went away to someplace tropical for a night with some friends. I left Julian with my mom. While I was at the resort, I realized that I hadn’t brought a breast pump or anything to store milk in while I was there. And then I realized that I hadn’t left any milk for him at home! I called my mom and could hear Julian crying and it was, again, just awful. I told her I’d leave and be home in 3 hours, but I knew he’d be upset that whole time waiting for me. :(

What’s up with these crazy dreams? Perhaps I have some subconscious fear that I will leave him behind?? Ugh, they leave me feeling so unsettled. I hope I can find a way to stop them from recurring.