The funky funk

I feel like I’ve been in a total funk the past two weekends and I’m not exactly sure why, though I have my suspicions. My guess is that I’ve had these ideas of how I expected/wanted the weekends to go and, in both cases, they didn’t go that way at all. Be forewarned, I sound like a whiny baby ahead. I haven’t been getting as much sleep lately as I would like/need so I’m sure that’s playing a role here too.

Two weekends ago, we planned to go to a Harvest Festival at the local Waldorf school. It went from 10 til 2, but because Julian woke up really early and then needed a nap, we didn’t get there until 1. I was really bummed to have missed most of it. I still managed to get an impromptu tour of the school thanks to a friend of mine who’s son went there for summer camp, and I still had a good time, but I just wished we all had more time to enjoy it before they packed everything up.

The good news is the school is amazing and I absolutely love it, so I’m glad that we got to go and check it out. The bad news is that tuition is even more expensive than what we’re paying for preschool (think college tuition), so I don’t know if it’s something we can realistically pursue or not. Well, I know it’s not something we can pursue without me getting another income. We live pretty much hand to mouth as it is, so “finding” extra money isn’t even an option.

The rest of that weekend went something like this. We suspected that Ava had a urinary tract infection so Jody took her to urgent care on Sunday, where they were for much of the day. The culture came back negative, but they let it grow (or whatever they do) and we heard back from them a few days later that she did in fact have a UTI (e-coli to be exact). So she’s on antibiotics (and probiotics) for 10 days.

Then this weekend we had plans to go to a pick-your-own-veggies fest at a local farm with a bunch of friends from our AP group. Unfortunately Julian woke up early again and I felt that he really needed a nap before we ventured out for the day. So we missed the group but decided to go, along with my sister (Carrie), much later in the day. By the time we got to the farm the wind was racing madly and there were huge dirt clouds all over the place. We let Ava take a ride in a little train, then we headed into the corn maze where the cornstalks protected us from the flying dirt. We then go lost in the corn maze and Ava had had enough and just wanted to go home. So Jody forged his own path out of the corn maze, while we followed behind, Ava (all 36 lbs. of her) in my arms. We gave up on the veggie picking and went home. I was bummed. I’d been looking forward to bags and bags of produce, especially in light of getting my new food processor. Perhaps another day.

On Sunday we decided to take a drive up into the mountains to see and photograph the beautiful fall foliage. (Can you tell where this is going?) The drive up was really nice (if you don’t count Ava whining and crying because she was tired, but too stubborn to take a nap in the car) and the leaves were gorgeous, but once we got to the Peak to Peak Scenic Byway, they were about 90% down. That is to say, they were well past peak and all we saw were a lot of bare aspen trees among the evergreens. Disappointment. We did stop at an Open Space area and went for a little walk (not long enough to call it a hike), but it was really cold and we were hungry so it didn’t last long. Pics from our walk coming for Wordless Wednesday this week.

The silver lining was that we found a new (to us) cafe to eat at up in Nederland and had a delicious late lunch while watching snow (yes, SNOW) fall outside. :)

So all in all, I just felt that both weekends didn’t go the way I wanted them to and it bummed me out. I know that’s life with kids, and the way the cookie crumbles, and all of that, but I just felt like being selfish and having things go my way. I try to remind myself that someday my kids will no longer be living at home and I will be free to go pick vegetables to my heart’s content and take weekend treks by myself, if I like, to take all of the nature pictures that I want. It’s so hard when you are in the thick of it to remember that these days of self-sacrifice will be gone before I know it and then I will undoubtedly miss these days and wonder why I couldn’t have just been happy in the moment.

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14 thoughts on “The funky funk

  1. I sooo know where you are coming from. {hugs} Especially that last sentence. I hope next week and weekend go much better.

    I hate it how I plan a whole bunch of stuff and then don’t get to it because of some kid hiccup. I know I need to go with the flow more but I’m such a routine/planner that I find that difficult.

    Still – you did get out with the children & Jody even if it were shorter than planned, and that is probably what they will remember. :-)

  2. I kept shaking my head yes yes yes while reading. I have my weekends all planned out usually by Thursday and “something” happens to where the plans are always thrown south.

    We mommies would go crazy wouldn’t we if something went as planned hehe. I hope Ava is feeling better!

    *hugs*

  3. Oh yeah. Sigh. Add to that my husband disappearing for 3 hours on Sunday to monitor a football game and the fact that my house is always trashed by Monday.

    I tell myself that all the time about my photography – someday I won’t have these $$ restrictions or times constrictions or whiny kids to deal with. So double-edged bc then I won’t have these precious kids to photograph either!

  4. Yep. Dont feel bad, I am the biggest whiner ever! lol Every outing we plan seems to go wrong, and we end up arguing and having a miserable time. :(

    The time at the farm sounds like a lot of fun! I hope the good memories can outweigh the bad!

    I hope Ava is doing better with her infection and on the way to a quick recovery!!!

    PS. we have an out of town trip to a fall festival this weekend and I am dredding something going wrong already. lol So, I’ll probably have my own post Monday about how things didnt go off as planned. Sigh.

    ~J

  5. sorry, i’m still stuck on nederland – close friends of mine lived there and i spent a lot of time hiking and playing in that area. i got such a rush of memories and colorado-sickness that i nearly fell out of my chair.

    now that i’m over feeling sorry for myself for living where i do, i’m sorry your weekends went as they did. i had a similar experience this weekend and am still recovering. it’s hard when you have expectations!!!

  6. There is an old Yiddish expression that I try very hard to remember in these kind of situations in my own life…

    “Humans plan and God laughs.”

    I think it especially applies where small children are involved!

  7. I love Phyllis’s comment above. Poor Amy – you know, life is just more challenging PERIOD when you have small children. Just let it go and there will always be next weekend. >>>

  8. Sorry your weekend plans haven’t gone like you hoped. W/ C. being so high-needs, I have stopped planning everything. If he is in a good mood, then we’ll figure out what to do, but seems like whenever we plan something, it doesn’t work out.

    One good thing- our weekends are a lot less busy, and if we don’t feel like doing anything, we don’t have to!

  9. Hang in there – we all have days where herding cats seems more productive than raising small children ;-)

    About the school – don’t give up based on sticker price. Most schools have tuition assistance programs, and a lot of private schools will take work from the parents in barter for a tuition discount. If money is the only thing holding you back from enrolling in the school, they will try to find a solution that works to everyone’s best interest. Don’t be afraid to talk to the admissions folks about it. The vast majority of private school parents are not paying full tuition.

    Maybe you could do some photography work for the school??

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