Comments on: Study: First-time moms want more information about life with new baby

By: Mamabird

Mamabird — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 02:47:07 +0000

For some real, honest to goodness, advice (with some humor mixed in) buy a Mom-to-be, or new mommy especially, the BlogHer book titled “Sleep is for the Week”. I can’t help but plug this book! I have enjoyed reading it immensely! It tells you what NOONE will tell you when you are expecting. So to those with a Cinderella type complex, this is just what they need – hardcore advice and a dose of realism that will speak volumes to what they are/may be/ or will be going through in the years to come. :)

By: Oz

Oz — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 19:55:15 +0000

I read a lot and talked to many other moms before I had my son. I guess that helped, but it’s impossible to really know until your baby is home and you’re in it. It’s like training for a marathon – you can put in the miles, but until you run a marathon, you don’t totally know what it’s like.

The hard part for me was sorting through all the info and figuring out what was right for us and for our baby. From my experience, it’s not that there weren’t enough resources – it’s that many of the resources say something different and conflict with one another!

By: Kellie

Kellie — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 19:45:54 +0000

I agree that nothing can quite adequately prepare you. All of my mom friends told me how sleep deprived I would be, how exhausting it is to be a mom to a newbord, how it’s the hardest job ever… I knew it would be; they told me it would be. But until you are actually doing it, you just can’t even fathom.

My suggestion? Ugh. How about this: Have your husband set the alarm clock for random intervals throughout the night…sometimes 5 minutes apart, sometimes an hour. Each time the alarm goes off, get up and do something requiring concentration and patience for 20 minutes to an hour. Then try to go back to sleep before the alarm goes back off. Seriously, I just don’t think classes or books can prepare you for that feeling.

I agree wholeheartedly with moms needing post partum support. That’s really what got me through those times. Not only did I have a wonderful doula who was there for me, I had family and friends to help in every way, and a network of other moms to help with questions or just to listen. It’s essential to know that other people are experiencing the same emotions and struggles (and the joys too, natch).

LLL and Kellymom are just unmatchable resources and iVillage also has some wonderful Pregnancy & Parenting forums.

By: another Krista

another Krista — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:45:13 +0000

i was SO unprepared – for all of the reading i did, all of the talking with other moms… nothing prepared me for postpartum life. things that friends and family had tried that worked for them didn’t work for us – i had my mom come and stay with us for a week and that was a HUGE mistake. it caused a lot of problems, she knew nothing about newborns (my brother and i were adopted as babies, but not newborns), and was telling me things like he should be sleeping through the night at 1 week old! and don’t even get me started on the effects that all had on breastfeeding. suffice to say that next time we have a baby, NOBODY is staying at our house with us.

that horrific experience aside, we did okay as newbie parents to a newborn – common sense came in handy much of the time, as did frank communication between my husband and i.

By: SusanB

SusanB — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 01:37:30 +0000

I second the need for more postpartum support. I always think about how unfair it is that we are expected to do it all ourselves, how if we lived in small hunter-gatherers groups we COULD get some sleep because there would ALWAYS be other people to help us out with everything.

And that brings me to seconding another idea–we need more EXPOSURE to postpartum life. How often before you had a baby did you hang around with a newly postpartum mom? I know I didn’t have any real experience with babies younger than about 4 months, and it would’ve really helped to see another mom go through that time period first too. I LOVE the idea of the high school girls volunteering, that would be awesome! But it would also be nice if we just weren’t so isolated in that period, somehow.

I agree that more “education” about the postpartum period that does not include real experience wouldn’t be very helpful. Books can only go so far–I don’t think that kind of knowledge would be very helpful without something more hands-on.

Great post!

By: Carrie at NaturalMomsTalkRadio

Carrie at NaturalMomsTalkRadio — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 22:16:58 +0000

This is so freaky Amy because I just finished a post about the challenges of a new mom today, then hopped onto my reader and saw this!

Sometimes the synchronicity between me, you and Tiffany Washko is a little freaky. LOL!

To answer the question, yes I found a big disconnect between my fantasies and what postpartum life was really like.