My big goal for 2009

I wrote about my unhappiness over this nearly a year ago and, other than some minor things, I did not do much to work on it over the past year. However, in 2009, I am swearing I will do something. I can’t keep ignoring my problems and my past and treating the people I love in a way that goes against everything I believe in. I am going to seek out a counselor/therapist/psychologist/head shrinker/whatever you want to call it and start therapy.

Yes, my big goal for 2009 is to take care of my mental and emotional health. I have shied away from seeking therapy in the last few years because I don’t want to dredge up old memories, feelings, etc. It’s so much easier to repress them and live in denial, but it’s taking it’s toll on the little people who matter the most to me – my children. I’ve also had logistical excuses issues – who will watch the kids while I saw a therapist?

But that’s it – NO more excuses. I don’t want to be that person. I know I can do better. I think that by dealing with the past rather than forgetting it I can be a better mom, a better wife, a better sister and daughter and a better friend.

It will likely be a slow process. One day at a time. One step at a time. But the important part is that the process is started. I’m ready.

And I figure by documenting it here, you all can hold me accountable. If I don’t write about my new therapist in another month or two, feel free to get on my case. ;)

What is YOUR big goal for 2009?

I want to wish you all a Happy and Healthy New Year. Thanks for sticking with me and being a part of Crunchy Domestic Goddess! :)

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26 thoughts on “My big goal for 2009

  1. Best of luck to you, and good for you for getting it out there and talking about it. My dad’s a retired psychologist, so I grew up with the idea that seeking help when you need it is a healthy thing to do. I hope that 2009 is a great year for you. And I love your blog and everything that you stand for.

  2. I applaud this act, it is difficult to admit to needing mental help, but it is something that many of us could use. I personally have thought that I should do this as well. If nothing else, it gives you an unbiased sounding board to share your feelings with. So good luck and I hope that you find a great counselor/therapist. I wrote a post on my blog Sunday night about my upcoming year as well, so feel free to check it out.

  3. I am always glad to hear that someone is deciding to seek good mental health! I got mine back when I went to rehab – god going on 12 years now. Anyway, I agree with Louise that seeking help when you need it is a healthy thing to do! So Godspeed to you!

  4. Hang in there. My own life has been both scarred and informed by the crap that I’ve lived through…and had the ‘courage’ to face, therapeutically.

    When I was in graduate school my counselor told me something (actually many things) that has helped me these past 20 or so years…
    “The only way to get out from under the crap that’s holding you back and making you miserable…is to go right through the heart of it.”
    She was right and I’m grateful for those words.
    peace, Mary

  5. That sounds like a great resolution, and one that will benefit your whole family. I also struggle with these issues and it really is a daily struggle/choice on how I will handle situations. It sounds like you recognize what you need to do to start. Good Luck!

  6. Good for you. I’m going for physical health this year. Not to be skinny, but to be healthy. Keep on eating the way I have been, eating whole, local, homegrown, healthy foods, but now add in some kind of regular exercise. I can’t keep ignoring it!

  7. All the best to you as you take care of yourself! I’ve found one of the hardest things about parenting is the issues it raises for me personally. Truly being with my daughters means I feel everything, not just the things that are easy to feel. Kudos to you for giving your children such a positive model of self care!

  8. Good for you Amy. I went last year to therapy and it really, really helped. It was hard at times, but it was worth it. And, it takes a lot of guts (for lack of a better term,only cuse I can’t spell what I wanted to say) to make this decision.

    I posted my goals on my blog last night as well.

  9. Amy, it’s great that you are at this point. I suffered with depression and have been free from it now for 7 years after much head shrinking. I will be pulling for you! I still “deal” with emotions I’m not familiar with and have to put somewhere like anger (that I tend to turn inward) but no depression! e-mail me anytime!

    My big resolution -loose the weight I have been holding on too..I will be blogging about this for accountability yikes! One healthy step at a time!

  10. Amy, I can so relate that parenting tends to bring to the surface a bunch of junk I would rather not deal with. I’m proud of you for choosing health, no matter how uncomfortable the path might be.

    I’ll look forward to what you what to share with us – you never know whose life you will touch through what you have share!

    Happy New Year!

  11. Thanks for sharing this. Yes I think we can all do with being better wives and mothers. Most of us at least :) I’ll make that a goal too. I want to have more patience with and give more attention to my family. These little ‘uns won’t be around forever and I don’t want to have regrets one day.

  12. Amy, i think your goal sounds wonderful, and i am looking forward to hearing how things progress. there is never anything wrong with asking for some extra help when you’re struggling!

  13. Good for you, Amy. Any investment in your health, mental or physical, will help you parent in a much more present, calm, and positive way. It will help you “parent” yourself in a much more present, calm, and positive way. I know all this from firsthand experience. You are a brave person to write publicly about this, but it’s wonderful that you have, since the vast majority of us parents have background issues and baggage that can realy impact negatively on the quality of life for everyone in the house, even pets. You are doing the right thing, and I’m looking forward to hearing your stories of healing :)

  14. Wow – do I admire your vulnerability and your strength. I decided I needed someone to talk to that was an objective observer last spring – as I balanced a demanding business and my family (oh, and my self). But, it was interesting, I realized after a couple of months that I didn’t need to talk at all. I spend sooo much frickin’ time in my head already. After every session, I left feeling more agitated…

    So, I did something else. I started working with an incredible personal pilates instructor – and got back into my neglected physical self (something that had been hijacked by pregnancy, nursing and lack of time=neglect).

    It’s been amazing – my sh*t comes up and I have to deal with it in a new way. I love that I found this ‘answer’ for myself. It took courage.

    Good luck on your journey…you’ll find your way, I just know it.

  15. I admire your bravery and vulnerability in sharing your resolution with us. I’ve never been in therapy (that doesn’t mean I couldn’t use some) but my friends that have say it is hard work, but definitely worth it. Happy New Year to you!

  16. What a great goal! I have been there before and still deal with just pushing things away. My goal for this year is to either have half our debt paid off or completely debt free

  17. What a brave goal to post in your blog- I applaud you! This is also something that has been in the back of my mind to do as well. I feel like I have been mildly depressed since my surprise pregnancy with my third child two years ago. Depressed and a touch overwhelmed. Maybe 2009 is the year to stop griping and actually take steps to work through it. I look forward to reading more about your journey!

  18. Pingback: Anxiety & anemia, but is there more? | Crunchy Domestic Goddess

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