You take the good, you take the bad

Today Jody and I celebrate our eighth wedding anniversary. Eight years ago, we said our vows and made promises to each other that have certainly been challenged at times. You know when you say your vows that at some point the honeymoon is going to end and that you will face challenges as a couple, but you never really know when those challenges will arise or how you and your partner will respond when they do.

Over the past few months, we’ve seen more than our fair share of “in sickness” rather than “in health” and, as a result, more “bad times” than “good.” Yet through it all, our love for each other has remained strong. I’m so thankful I have a husband who supports me even when I’m not at my best.

Today we celebrate our love and our commitment to each other and I am thankful for my husband for honoring his commitment to me, even though I don’t always make things easy.

Tomorrow we will face another challenge together as a couple – one no one can really prepare you for and one you hope you don’t ever have to experience. We’re putting the older of our two dogs, Ellie, to sleep tomorrow afternoon. It’s been a tough decision for us, but her health has been failing for a while now and we believe it is for the best. Jody and I are going with her for the process, while the kiddos will be staying at a friend’s house.

I explained to Ava that Ellie is going to the spirit world tomorrow and she asked if she is going to die and I said yes. She said, “we need to give her all of our kindness today.” And I agreed. She pet Ellie and said she will miss her and then went about playing. I think she will be OK. I hope the rest of us can be as accepting.

Please keep us, the kids, Ellie, and our other dog Maggie in your thoughts tomorrow. Thank you.

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22 thoughts on “You take the good, you take the bad

  1. Kids are so resilient! They’ll be fine. It’s you and Jody I worry about! This is a rough situation, but I know that you will face it head on.

    I hope that you can find peace in knowing that you gave Ellie a grand life filled with love. And that you will meet her again someday.

    I remember a similar circumstance and I was attempting to explain and talk out concerns, questions, etc with my son. I was quickly reminded of how he was handling things when he quipped, “Circle of life mom.” and continued playing. I know he had heard this from a friend, but it reminded me that he needed less in this situation than I did.

    Best to you. Hang in there.

    (Sorry to hear you were hacked. Happened to me too. It’s awful!)

  2. Hugs to you all. Having gone through this with Dewey last year, I can say it is harder for the grownups than it is for the kids.

    I am keeping you all in my thoughts and wish Ellie a peaceful crossing on the Rainbow Bridge. I know she will be greatly missed.

  3. Out of the mouths of babes. Kids are pretty perceptive.

    I wish Ellie an easy passing. And must agree with the other comments, it is harder on the adults. We had to put one of our cats to sleep last year after he went into kidney failure. I had a little solace knowing that his last night was spent cuddled up in a warm bed, surrounded by love.

    I’m sorry that such a loss will over shadow your anniversary.

  4. I understand completely. Our 12 year old dog has prostate cancer and will likely not make it to May. He was my first baby. Even before my husband, he was mine. I was his. A friend gave me the book Dog_Heaven by Cynthia Rylant. It is an EXCELLENT children’s book for the kids. It has really helped my 9, 6 & 3year olds.

  5. Happy Anniversary! When I think about the kids we were when Ed and I got married, I don’t think we really knew what we were getting into! It’s amazing how you grow up and grow to love each other more over the years and through all the changes.

    As for Ellie, I’m so sorry to hear you’ll have to put her down. I just watched “Marley & Me” and cried through the whole thing. :(

  6. Congratulations on your anniversary!

    And I’m really sorry to hear about Ellie. It’s such a devastating loss when you have to put down a family love. I’ll be thinking of you guys and wishing you all the best.

  7. Happy Anniversary. Ours is tomorrow, 8yrs as well.

    We also just put our older of two dogs to sleep back in November. She was our first baby and it was devastating, but she had lived a full life and it was time. We knew in our hearts that we were doing what was best for her and that she needed to move on.

    Our little girl is 2 and loved both dogs, but the older one especially. I got a book from the library and was really wonderful for her, Dog Heaven.

    If you can, you might want to think about taking your other dog with you. We found that it was very therapeutic for our other dog and he seemed to understand that she had passed. Our trainer recommended it and the vet was very supportive of our decision.

    My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

  8. Happy co-anniversary! (We’ve been married for 18 years today. Yikes!)

    I’m sorry for your loss. We’re about to be facing the same thing with our 16 YO kitty, I think. Although I’ve thought that for a few years now. Last year we welcomed a new kitty into the house to ease the transition for the boys when it happens and it seemed to breathe some new life into our old baby.

    When our other old baby kitty died about 6 years ago, I cried (sobbed and sobbed) for days. I think that I took it much harder than our boys will when the situation arises again.

    Anyway, know that I’m thinking about you…

  9. Amy,

    8 years! Congrats to you both!

    So sorry to hear about your dog. Gave me chills. Toby and I put down our dog 2 1/2 years ago and we still love him and dream of him.

    Beckie

  10. Happy anniversary Amy :) Well done you guys!

    I’m sorry to hear about Ellie. Even when it’s the logical, inevitable decision it’s still not easy.

  11. Gee amy thet is tough. I have gone through that more time than I can count. It is so tough to lose a pet. But be thankful for the love the pet gave you and I an sure the love you gave the pet. I am so sorry for your loss.

  12. Oh, Amy, I’m so sorry about Ellie. We had to put our kitty Meshoe to sleep almost two years ago, and it was devastating. Ava’s comment about giving her all our kindness today took my breath away. You’re raising some awesome kids.

  13. I’m sorry for your loss and all the health issues but I’m so happy you have a great family.

    You guys are in my thoughts and prayers. Losing a pet is so hard. As you know I also understand the strain that health issues put on relationships but it is amazing to have a great man by your side!

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