Why I’m trying to let go of the mommy guilt & focus on myself & my marriage

Tomorrow I am dropping off my son Julian at his first day of preschool. He’s not even 3 yet – he’ll be 2 until the end of November. Sigh.

Although my heart wants to home school or unschool Ava, I’m not giving in and instead am leaving her in public school for kindergarten (in a class of 25 kids) this year. Sigh.

Why am I doing these things and going against my heart instead of following it? Because my head tells me they are the right things to do – for now.

I’ve spent the past five-plus years of my life pouring myself into my kids. They have been my world. Although intellectually I knew having balance in my life was important, I always seemed to neglect the idea. Instead of taking care myself or my marriage (things that would have required a good deal of effort), I distracted myself with my children. That’s not to say I regret putting my kids first because I don’t, but I wish that I would’ve found a way to make myself and my marriage a priority during this time too. My mental health has suffered. My marriage has suffered.

Many of you know I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder earlier this year. I’ve been going to individual therapy for months, as well as on a low dose of Zoloft. My husband Jody and I have also been going to couple’s therapy off and on for a few months. We both have a lot of work to do, and while I’ve doubted in the past whether or not we can make it, I’m feeling more confident that we can. It’s not going to be easy, but the things worth fighting for never are.

All of this to say that I’ve decided, after talking to my psychiatrist and doing some serious soul searching, that it’s time for me to stop focusing only on my children and time for me to focus on myself too. That means Ava will stay in public school this year and Julian will attend preschool (the same Waldorf home-based preschool Ava attended) one day a week. It will give me a little time to myself. I know the temptation to catch up on housework or waste the day away sitting on the computer will be great, but I hope to use some of that time every Wednesday to nurture myself (as well as volunteer in Ava’s classroom for two hours every other week – see, I can’t give up focusing on my kids that easily).

While this might not be exactly what I wanted or envisioned, it is what I believe will work best for us – for now. I will try to put my mommy guilt aside and focus instead on getting myself healthy and my marriage to a better place – both of which will benefit myself AND my children in the long run.

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October snow in Colorado

I’m so glad that I got a few pics of the kids playing in the leaves on Friday – like this one of Julian.

Because by Saturday, our yard looked like this!

And now, all of the leaves in our trees (which were still green!) have fallen to the ground.

What happened to autumn this year? Climate change?

What’s the weather like in your neck of the woods?

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The updated Nestle product boycott list

As promised, here is the updated Nestlé product list (current as of Oct. 7, 2009). The information below came from Nestlé USA product list, Corporate Watch, Gerber and Nestlé Brands.

Photo courtesy David Boyle
Photo courtesy David Boyle

Unfortunately, because Nestlé owns such a large number of products and I am only one person, I am finding it impossible to make this list complete. If you run across something that you know Nestlé makes that is not on this list, please leave me a comment so I can add it. Also, when in doubt, read the label, look for the Nestlé name in the fine print. Thanks!

Don’t know what the Nestle boycott is all about? Educate yourself. Check out my post, Annie’s (PhDinParenting’s) post and Best for Babies’ Anthology of Activist Blogs & Twitter Names. Remember, knowledge is power.

THE NESTLE BOYCOTT LIST

Candy and Chocolate:
Baby Ruth
Bit-O-Honey
Butterfinger
Carlos V (“the authentic Mexican chocolate bar”)
Chunky
Gobstoppers
Goobers
Laffy Taffy
Lik-M-Aid Fun Dip
Nerds
Nestle Abuelita chocolate
Nestle Crunch
Nips
Oh Henry!
Oompas
Pixy Stix
Raisinets
Runts
Sno-Caps
Spree
Sweettarts
Wonka
100 Grand

Frozen Foods:
Lean Cuisine (frozen meals)
Lean Pockets (sandwiches)
Hot Pockets (sandwiches)
Stouffer’s (frozen meals)

Baking:
La Lechera (sweetened condensed milk)
Libby’s Pumpkin
Nestle Tollhouse Morsels and baking ingredients

Ice Cream:
Dreyer’s (ice creams, frozen yogurts, frozen fruit bars, sherbets)
Edy’s (ice creams, frozen yogurts and sherbets)
Häagen-Dazs (ice cream, frozen yogurt, sorbet, bars)
Nestle Delicias
Nestle Drumstick
Nestle Push-Ups
The Skinny Cow (ice cream treats)

Pet food:
Alpo
Beneful
Cat Chow
Dog Chow
Fancy Feast
Felix
Friskies
Frosty Paws (dog ice cream treats)
Gourmet
One
Pro Plan

Beverages:

Coffee-Mate
Jamba (bottled smoothies and juices)
Milo Powdered Beverage and Ready-to-Drink
Nescafé
Nescafé Café con Leche
Nescafe Clasico (soluble coffees from Mexico)
Nescafe Dolce Gusto
Nesquik
Nestea
Nestle Juicy Juice 100% fruit juices
Nestle Carnation Malted Milk
Nestle Carnation Milks (instant breakfast)
Nestle Hot Cocoa Mix
Nestle Milk Chocolate
Nestle Nido (powdered milk for kids)
Ovaltine
Taster’s Choice Instant Coffee

Specialty items:

Buitoni (pasta, sauce, shredded cheeses)
Maggi Seasonings
Maggi Taste of Asia

Infant Formula:
Nestle Good Start
Gerber Pure Water (for mixing with formula)

Baby Foods:
Cerelac
Gerber (cereals, juice, 1st Foods, 2nd Foods, 3rd Foods, etc.)
Gerber Graduates (snacks, meal options, side dishes, beverages, Preschooler meals/snacks, etc.)
Mucilon
NaturNes
Nestum

Accessories:
Gerber – cups, diaper pins, pacifiers, bowls, spoons, outlet plugs, thermometers, tooth and gum cleanser, bottles (all of these are made by Gerber)

Breastfeeding supplies:
Gerber Seal ‘N Go breast milk storage bags, bottles, nipples, nursing pads, Breast Therapy warm or cool relief packs, Breast Therapy gentle moisturizing balm (all of these are made by Gerber)

Bottled Water:
Arrowhead
Deer Park
Gerber Pure Water
Perrier
Poland Spring
Pure Life
S. Pellegrino
Vittel

Breakfast Cereals:
see joint ventures below

Performance Nutrition:
PowerBar
Boost

Miscellaneous:
Jenny Craig

Joint Ventures (in which Nestle is partnered with another company):
Nestlé SA has several joint ventures. These are some of the larger ones:

Beverage Partners Worldwide, formed in 2001, is a joint venture between the Coca-Cola Company and Nestlé S.A. It concentrates on tapping markets in the beverage sectors, particularly ready-to-drink coffee and teas, such as Nestea.

Cereal Partners Worldwide is a joint venture between Nestlé and General Mills. From what I understand, in the USA, the cereals are made by General Mills. In the UK, they are made by Nestle.

Laboratories Innéov is a joint venture between Nestlé and L’Oréal, formed in 2002. Cosmetics included in are:
L’Oreal
Maybelline
Garnier
Lancome

Dairy Partners Americas is a 50/50 partnership between New Zealand dairy multinational, Fonterra and Nestlé and was established in January 2003. The alliance now operates joint ventures in Argentina, Brazil, Venezuela, Ecuador and Colombia.

Other Nestle Boycotts:

If committing to a total Nestle boycott is too overwhelming, you might want to consider joining a week-long Nestle boycott. Baby Milk Action is hosting one for the week of Oct. 26 to Nov. 1, 2009.

Also, Danielle Friedland of Celebrity Baby Blog fame is hosting a #BooNestle Halloween candy boycott.

Whether you decide to join the boycott completely, the week-long boycott, the Halloween candy boycott or just a partial list boycott, I’d love it if you’d leave a comment and let me know. Thank you.

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Ditch the Disposables with the DivaCup – giveaway

It’s time for another giveaway to help (the ladies) with the Ditch the Disposables Challenge! Thanks to DivaCup®, I am giving away a size 1 or size 2 reusable DivaCup menstrual solution.

I haven’t personally used a DivaCup, but I do have my Moon Cup which, used alongside cloth pads (just in case), I have learned to love. It takes a little getting used to, but once you figure it out, you can’t imagine going back to disposable products. Seriously.

Using a DivaCup for your menstrual cycle is an easy way to live a little greener. According to DivaCup:

Women, on average, experience a lifetime menstruation span of 41 years (11-52). From use of disposable feminine hygiene, an estimated 12 billion sanitary pads and 7 billion tampons are dumped into the North American environment each year (1998). More than 170,000 tampon applicators were collected along U.S. coastal areas between 1998 and 1999.

Most tampons and pads contain surfactants, adhesives and additives. In addition, most pads contain polyethylene plastic whose production is a pollutant. Also, dioxin, a known carcinogen, is a by-product of the bleaching process of tampons containing rayon. In landfills, many of these substances can leach into the environment (groundwater, streams and lakes) causing serious pollution and health concerns.

Women can reduce dangerous landfill waste by choosing to use a reusable, silicone menstrual cup. When considering the pollution and volume of waste that is inherent in the use of disposable tampons and pads, replacing one’s feminine hygiene with The DivaCup makes good environmental sense and manifests in a positive eco-footprint every month!

More about the DivaCup:

The DivaCup is a non-absorbent menstrual cup that simply collects menstrual flow. It can be worn for up to 12 hours before emptying, washing and reinserting for use for another 12 hours.

The DivaCup is made from top quality silicone – the same material used in healthcare applications for over 50 years.

Silicone is phthalate-free, latex-free, plastic-free and BPA-free!

Due to government standards and the personal, hygienic nature of the product, we recommend a menstrual cup should be replaced once a year. Ultimately, it is still up to the consumer to decide when she feels it is necessary to replace the cup.

Win It!
If you want a chance to win a DivaCup:

  • First be sure you’ve entered the Ditch the Disposables Challenge
  • Then leave me a comment here
  • For an extra entry: Tweet (on Twitter) about the giveaway linking to this post AND including @crunchygoddess (hey, that’s me!) in your Tweet, AND leave me a 2nd comment here.

The deadline to enter is Tuesday, Oct. 13. The winner will be selected randomly using Random.org on Wednesday, Oct. 14, and emailed (so be sure to include a valid email address).

Don’t miss a single CDG post (I’ve still got LunaPads and GlassDharma straws to giveaway), subscribe to my blog.