My daughter Ava has slept in the same bedroom as me every night for the last nearly four years now. As a newborn she started out in an Arm’s Reach Cosleeper next to Jody’s and my bed, then transitioned into our bed around four months old. When she was two years old, we bought her her own bed, which we put next to our’s to expand our family bed in preparation for the birth of Julian and adding another person to our cosleeping arrangement.

For the most part, cosleeping (or sharing sleep) has been a great experience for our family. I’ve always loved the secure feeling of knowing my children are close by and safe. If they ever cry out or are sick in the middle of the night, I’ve been right there to comfort them. Mornings full of kisses and snuggles and goofing around in the bed are times I cherish.

For the past few weeks, Ava has been saying she’d like to move into her own bedroom. I admit I was rather surprised to hear it coming from her. We’ve talked before about her getting her own room once we move into a larger house (someday), but never pushed the issue in this house. I figure if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

After she mentioned it a few times, weeks apart, I thought we should take this request seriously and respect it. So last Friday we moved her mattress (not her whole bed) from our “family bedroom” to the “kids’ room,” which has always just been a room to store things - dresser of their clothes, a glider, diapering paraphernalia and some toys.

Ava was very excited to be moving into her own room. She declared that she was going to go to sleep all by herself and “no mama milk tonight!,” something she’s said more than once lately, but has yet to follow through on. ;) (I’m gently encouraging her to wean by her fourth birthday in June.) I thought that was a little much to try to tackle all in one night, but since it was at her urging I figured we’d give it a try and see how it went. She soon acquiesced and asked for mama milk and for me to lay with her while she fell asleep (which is our usual bedtime ritual). Before she went to sleep, Jody and I reassured her that we were there if she needed us in the night, and Jody put down a sleeping bag on the floor next to her mattress just in case. We slept with both bedroom doors open so if she woke up, she could easily wander into our room.

After she had some mama milk, we talked for a bit and she fell asleep. I took my time getting up that night. It was a little hard for me to think that my baby girl was growing up and taking the first of many steps towards independence. I laid in bed with her and whispered that I loved her. I gave her three extra kisses before I got up and left her sleeping contentedly in her very own room. It was bittersweet. I snuck back in there a little while later to snap a picture (had to) and cover her back up.

Around 2 a.m. we awoke to Ava yelling “Mommy” and she came running down the hall towards our room. Jody met her in the hallway and carried her into our room, where she said, “I don’t want to move back in here.” So Jody took her back to her room and slept next to her on the floor.

We made a big deal about her first night in her own room the next day and told her how proud we were of her.

That night, not wanting her to feel like she had to stay in her own room if she didn’t want to, I told her we could move her mattress back into our room if she wanted, but she was adamant that she wanted to sleep in her own room again.

She’s been sleeping in her own room now for the past week. She tends to wake up and call out for one of us around 3 or 4 a.m. most nights at which point Jody goes in and sleeps next to her on a second twin mattress that we got off Freecycle this week. Other than that, the transition has gone really well. She is happy to be sleeping by herself and has no plans to move back in with us. Gulp.

I am very proud of my little girl. While this transition was a little harder on me than I think it was on her, I know that we’re doing the right thing. I feel lucky that we had such a great co-sleeping relationship for the first 3 3/4 years of her life and that she was able to move on to her own room when she was ready.

It’s hard to watch your children decide they no longer need you with this or that, but at the same time it’s also rewarding. We give them wings so they can fly.

Just don’t fly too far yet, honey, k? :)

*Alternate title: “Proof that AP kids really will sleep in their own beds someday” ;)

Cosleeping Resources
Kellymom: The Family Bed
Attachment Parenting International: Engage in Nighttime Parenting
The Natural Child Project: Cosleeping
Berkeley Parents Network: Co-sleeping: The Family Bed
Mothering: Sleep articles
The Natural Child Project: Articles on Sleeping

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As many of you know, I’m a big advocate of attachment parenting. I’ve seen the benefits of raising my children according to AP principles such as breastfeeding (feeding with love), baby wearing, responsive nighttime parenting, gentle discipline, etc. My husband Jody and I didn’t start out the road to parenting set on AP, it just kind of happened. For us it just feels natural, like we are trusting our instincts.

We’ve seen the way that Ava has blossomed into an almost 4-year-old who is secure, loving, friendly, healthy, imaginative and independent, and we attribute this largely to the way that we raised her. Julian is only 16 months old, but he too is a very happy, healthy, well-adjusted little person. I believe that by meeting our children’s needs when they are little, they have come to learn that they can depend on us and trust us for the long haul. It’s certainly not all been easy nor a bed of roses, but anyone who thinks parenting is convenient is surely mistaken. It is my hope that by building a solid foundation with them when they are young, we are creating a lasting, trust-based relationship that will endure throughout their adolescent years and into adulthood.

I feel fortunate that I have found a support network of like-minded parents here locally through Attachment Parenting International.

Attachment Parenting International (API), a non-profit organization that promotes parenting practices that create strong, healthy emotional bonds between children and their parents, has several exciting changes they would like to announce, including:

• A newly redesigned web site and new logo at Attachment Parenting.org (Check out the photos on the home page - at least one might look familiar to you. It’s Jody and Ava on the right and I also took the first picture in that grouping. A few more of my pictures are scattered around the site. My little claim to fame. hehe.);
• Attachment parenting worldwide support forums;
• Parent Education Program - a comprehensive series of classes for every stage and age of child development from infancy through adulthood;
• A new book based on API’s Eight Principles of Attachment Parenting by API co-founders Lysa Parker and Barbara Nicholson which is expected to be available this summer;
• A series of podcasts, webinars, chats, and forums with API Advisory Board members and other supporters of AP. Future events are scheduled with Dr. Bob Sears, Dr. James McKenna, and Kathleen Kendall Tacket. Check out the events page for more information.

These are just a few of many exciting things going on at API. I hope you’ll stop by the website and check it out for yourself. Perhaps you’ll find something that resonates with you. :)

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Hello. :) I’m Amy, also known around the internets as amygeekgrl. Welcome to my groovy green blog party, part of the Ultimate Blog Party hosted by 5 Minutes for Mom! I’m so glad you stopped by. :) Come in, have a seat and let me offer you something to eat.

Can I tempt you with some homemade granola or perhaps an oat-nut scone topped with strawberry jam or maybe you’re in the mood for a Grilled Panini with Provolone and Basil or a brownie baked with love? I have a fair bit to choose from here, as I enjoy cooking and baking a great deal. :) I just wish I had more time to do more of both.

Now that you’ve got something to munch on, let me tell you a little bit about myself. First and foremost, I’m a mom. I stay at home with my two amazing children - Ava (3 3/4 years old) and Julian (15 months). My husband Jody and I try to raise them with the philosophy of attachment parenting in mind, though we really just follow our instincts and do what feels right for our family.

I have a lot of passions that I like to write about on my blog. Some of them include home birth (my son was a footling breech and born at home), breastfeeding (I’ve shared my experiences of nursing while pregnant and tandem nursing), and informed healthcare decisions (why we delay/selectively vaccinate). I also write a lot about the environment (picking up trash in our neighborhood, composting, and recycling) and do a weekly Green Tip of the Week column with suggestions to make life a bit more eco-friendly. Some would call me a hippie or granola or crunchy, hence my blog title. ;)

One of my favorite quotes is “You must be the change you wish to see in the world” by Gandhi. I try to live by that philosophy both on my blog and in my life.

I also write about maternal health as a contributing editor on BlogHer, write reviews for Green Mom Finds and will soon be joining the team of Blissfully Domestic as the Eco-Diva.

I like to do giveaways here at Crunchy Domestic Goddess. In the past I’ve given away t-shirts, natural cleaners, reusable bags, books, toys, and even a digital camera. I currently have a giveaway going on right now for a bottle of Shaklee Basic H2 natural cleaner. It’s good stuff! The deadline to enter is March 13. Hope you’ll check it out and enter to win!

In addition to my blog, I also have two online stores - Attached At The Hip, featuring AP advocacy wear and more and home to the I make milk. What’s your superpower? shirt, and Cute As A Bug, featuring cute and original designs for babies, kids and adults. I enjoy photography (and love taking part in Best Shot Monday), reading, and hiking.

Ya know, this is my kind of party, very environmentally friendly - no paper or plastic waste and little carbon emissions! :) I hope you enjoyed your visit and will come back again.
Please feel free to sign up for my RSS feed or follow me on Twitter (amygeekgrl)! And, of course, be sure to leave me a comment so I can try to come check out your party too. :)

Now it’s time for the kids and I to get our party groove on, but feel free to visit the rest of the other party people linked up at 5 Minutes for Mom.

Edited to add: I’ve donated a prize - an I make milk. What’s your superpower? short-sleeved t-shirt - to the Ultimate Blog Party. It is prize #141 on the prize list.

There are so many great prizes to choose from in this year’s Ultimate Blog Party, but my top fvie choices are: Bead Dangle Photo Tile Necklace by Elemental Memories, Marketing for Entrepreneurs by Lis Garrett, Burt’s Bees Naturally Ageless skin care line by Geggie, Go BPA Free Sippy Sampler Kit by The Soft Landing and Rocking Horse by A Rocking Horse To Love. If my top five picks are already taken, then I’d also love any of the following (in order of preference) #11, 12, 15, 2, 3, 14, 32, 34, 37, 70, 72, 79, 87, and 5 or anything related to a toddler or preschooler. :)

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Cross-posted at BlogHer

When I made the decision to breastfeed my children, I did so confident in the knowledge that I was doing the best thing for both their health and mine. After all, studies have consistently shown there are numerous health benefits to both mother and baby. What I didn’t consider was that by simply living in the United States, my breast milk might contain toxic chemicals like flame retardant, rocket fuel, Polybrominated Diphenyl Ethers (PBDEs), and pesticides. Indeed over the past several years, studies have come out to show that these chemicals have been found in the breast milk of American women. Yes, when my dear son nurses, he is getting all of the nutrients a growing boy needs, as well as flame retardant, in my milk. Gulp.

A study of the breast milk of American women published by the Environmental Working Group in 2003 found “unexpectedly high levels” of chemical fire retardants in every participant tested.

The average level of bromine-based fire retardants in the milk of 20 first-time mothers was 75 times the average found in recent European studies. Milk from two study participants contained the highest levels of fire retardants ever reported in the United States, and milk from several of the mothers in EWG’s study had among the highest levels of these chemicals yet detected worldwide.

Unfortunately, this is only one of many studies showing a variety of toxins in breast milk.

While the news of these chemicals in breast milk is shocking and disturbing to most moms, doctors and experts agree that the benefits of breastfeeding outweigh the risks and breast is still best.

The Environmental Working Group notes that for mothers who are concerned about their exposure to toxic chemicals, it may be even more important to breastfeed. “In fact, careful study of babies’ toxic exposures indicates that it might be even more important for mothers who are concerned about their exposure to toxic chemicals to breastfeed their babies.”

Several long-term studies have followed groups of babies exposed to PCBs in-utero and found that the breastfed babies appear to be less impacted by the chemical exposures than their bottle-fed counterparts.

After growing concerned about the results found in another study regarding Polybrominated Diphenyl Ethers (PBDEs) in U.S. mothers’ milk, Libby at The Toxic Sandbox began to wonder if it was wise to breastfeed. She called Dr. David Carpenter at the University Albany School of Public Health to get some answers.

Q: Given everything we know about PCBs and PBDEs, should we breastfeed our babies?

DR. CARPENTER: There is overwhelming evidence that breastfeeding has important benefits, improving immune function in the child, protecting against chronic diseases even when the child grows to adulthood, and promoting bonding between the mother and the child. While the presence of these contaminants in breast milk is not a good thing, under almost all circumstances breastfeeding has greater benefit than risk.

Tanya, a mother and lactivist who blogs at The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog, had the opportunity to ask Dr. Kathleen Arcaro, an environmental toxicologist from the University of Massachusetts, about environmental toxics in breast milk.

Q: You also study environmental toxics in breast milk. Can you describe any trends you’re seeing in the concentrations of toxics in breast milk?

DR. KATHLEEN ARCARO: The good news is that the concentration of some lipophilic (fat-loving) environmental pollutants in breast milk is decreasing. For instance the level of many pesticides (DDT and its metabolites) and polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) has greatly decreased over the last 30 years. However, the levels of some other compounds used in household and personal care products including flame retardants and synthetic musks are increasing. In general, if a compound does not easily degrade, and accumulates in fatty tissue it is likely it will be in breast milk. But considering that the pollutants are widely distributed and therefore are in cow’s milk and formula, breast milk clearly remains the best food for most infants.

While the use of chemical fire retardants are widespread in the United States and are included in everything from furniture and mattresses, to computers and children’s pajamas, many have been banned in Europe and even in California, though “the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has set no safety standards or other regulations for their manufacture, use or disposal.”

Although the government is not placing any restrictions on the use of these chemicals yet, there are steps we can take to reduce our family’s exposure to these toxins.

Divine Caroline wrote a list of the top chemicals polluting our children and how to avoid them.

Amanda at Hippie Mommy quotes a study that show the levels of pesticides in vegetarian mothers’ breast milk is far less than average and advocates a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle.

I think that anything that we can do to improve the quality of our breastmilk (and our personal health) is fantastic, and these statistics are another great reason to consider a vegetarian or vegan diet.

Stacy Malkan at Not Just a Pretty Face writes about Mary Brune, who, when she heard about the study that found rocket fuel in breast milk, “didn’t just get mad; she got together with other new mothers and launched a nationwide effort to get toxic chemicals out of breast milk – called Making Our Milk Safe (MOMS).”

Making Our Milk Safe is “working to build a massive movement of mothers and others who will step out from behind the changing table and speak out against the presence of toxins in our environment, our bodies, and breast milk.” MOMS works through promoting precaution, supporting progressive legislation, changing corporate behavior, and educating consumers. They also have a list of tips that women can do both before and during pregnancy to limit their exposure to toxins.

Like it or not, for now these chemicals are out there in our environment. We can do our best to avoid them, and to support legislation to ban them, but in the meantime we should rest assured that by breastfeeding, we are still doing what’s best for our children.

Photo credit: More4Kids

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Welcome to February’s Carnival of Breastfeeding sponsored by The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog. This month our theme is breastfeeding humor, or “What’s so funny about breastfeeding?”

Here are a few breastfeeding funnies - a joke, picture and video - I gathered up from around the ‘net. Enjoy! :)

First, the joke:

A woman and a baby come into the doctor’s office.

She was told to go into a room and wait for the doctor.

After arriving there, the doctor examined the baby and asked the woman, “Is he breast fed or on the bottle?”

“Breast fed” she replied.

“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.

She did.

He pressed, kneaded and pinched both breasts for a while in a detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed said, “No wonder this baby is hungry. You don’t have any milk.”

“Naturally,” she said, “I’m his aunt. But I’m glad I came.”

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Next, the picture:

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Finally, the video: (Note: this video includes a bit of non-sexual nudity, it’s about breastfeeding after all, but it may not be considered “work safe.”)

I don’t know what the woman says in this (anyone?), but you’ll get the gist of it regardless of the language spoken. ;)

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Other participants in this month’s carnival:
Please take a moment to check out some of their funnies.

- Tanya at The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog reviews two new breastfeeding humor books.
- Stacie at The Twinkies shares the breastfeeding conversation she fears.
- Andi at Mama Knows Breast shares a dads’ nursing in public video.
- Sinead at Breastfeeding Mums shares a pumping multi-tasking disaster.
- Carol at Happy Sad Mama shares why she loves to nurse her toddler.
- Angela at Breastfeeding 1-2-3 shares some crazy search terms that led readers to her site.

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Remember a couple of weeks ago when I posted about the new Mothers Milk Bank of New England’s quest to win $10,000 from Ideablob? Guess what! They won!!

Thanks to everyone who voted and posted about it elsewhere. Your willingness to vote and spread the word will make such a difference to many babies and families in the New England area! :)

You can read more about the big announcement over on Ideablob and here’s a link to the Mothers Milk Bank of New England.

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This week’s green tip is pretty basic, but something not everybody realizes. Not only is breastfeeding best for baby and mama, it’s also free (no need to buy anything to get started) and best for the environment.

“Breastfeeding is the most environmentally-friendly way to feed a baby. Breast milk is a renewable resource.” Consider all of the cans, bottles, plastic, etc. that you are keeping out of the landfills. Not to mention that there’s “no energy needed to produce plastic bottles and f*rmula milk, no inefficient land use and methane gas produced by cows, and the only energy used is your own.” — Embrace Green Motherhood: Breastfeed

When you are breastfeeding the milk is always right with you, ready to go and at the perfect temperature for baby.

Breastfeeding - good for babies, good for moms and good for the world. It’s a great green thing to do. :)

The Breastfeed for a healthy baby, mama, world shirts are a new design and available at Attached At The Hip in the breastfeeding advocacy section.

Have any green tips you’ve recently learned? Please email them to me and I may include your tip with a link to your site or blog in a future post. :)

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If you are searching for the Bloggy Giveaway post, here is the link to my digital camera giveaway.

And now, let’s get back to January’s Carnival of Breastfeeding, brought to you by the Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog. This month’s theme is “beginnings and endings.” Since I don’t know much yet about endings with regard to breastfeeding, I thought I’d share the story of my breastfeeding beginning - one I’ve yet to tell here - instead. Following my story I have links to other bloggers participating in this month’s carnival. Hope you will pay them a visit too. :)

After a much harder than expected labor and birth, my first child, Ava, entered into the world at 12:06 a.m. June 22, 2004. She was perfect in every way and latched onto my breast without any hesitation the first time it was offered to her. Despite her instinctual desire to nurse, much like her birth, our first few days of breastfeeding didn’t go exactly as planned either.

Even though I had magnesium sulfate coursing through my veins to prevent seizures (due to the high blood pressure I developed with HELLP syndrome) for the next day, which in turn meant my mental state was not up to par, I was determined to breastfeed Ava and put her to the breast often. And that’s where she would stay usually for 30 to 45 minutes on each breast - contentedly nursing. Those long sessions at the breast should have been my first clue that she was going to be a nurser for the long haul, but that’s another story. ;)

Because of my pregnancy complications I spent the first five days of Ava’s life in the hospital, where her weight was carefully monitored by her then (family practitioner) doctor. When she lost more than 10% of her birth weight (which had been 8 lbs. 4 oz.), the doctor recommended we start supplementing with f*rmula. I’d always assumed that if the hospital or doctor tried to push f*rmula on us, we would refuse, just because we were planning on exclusively breastfeeding. However, in my weakened state I acquiesced, assumed doctor knew best and went with it. I was, however, adamant that I would not be the one bottle feeding her since I didn’t want her to experience any confusion regarding where the mama milk was coming from. So Jody (daddy) or a nurse (when Jody was had run home to let out the dogs) were the one who fed her the bottles, and I asked that it was only a couple of ounces at a time. I think there were two days where Ava received f*rmula after each nursing session. She did fine with it and thankfully, never had any problem going back to the breast or switching between breast and bottle.

Once my milk came in (and boy, did it ever come in!) and we headed home from the hospital on day five, Jody and I decided we were done with the f*rmula. We both felt like I was fully capable of exclusively breastfeeding her at that point. We took some bottles home from the hospital, but they never were opened. I stuck to my guns and breastfed her exclusively (until she was six months old and if you’re a regular here, you know that she’s still nursing 1x/day at age 3 1/2) and never looked back.

Ava had no trouble packing on the ounces and pounds on mama’s milk alone (often surprising the doctors) and by two months old was in the 100th percentile for weight.

When I think back to those first few days, I wonder if the f*rmula was really necessary or if the doctor was being a little overly cautious. (This is the same doctor who speculated that I might need a blood transfusion to encourage my milk to come in after I lost a fair amount of blood during birth. My OB never recommended a transfusion and my milk came in just fine on its own.) It’s hard to say. However, one thing is for sure. I am glad that once we got home I trusted my body and knew that I could provide for her. I feel fortunate that I had a great support network including my husband and friends and that I was knowledgeable enough about breastfeeding to know that supplementing was no longer necessary.

What started out a little rocky turned into a beautiful nursing relationship.

**Spelled that way to prevent ubiquitous f*rmula ads from showing up on my blog.

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Other Breastfeeding Carnival participants:

• Tanya at Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog wrote about Weaning
• Sinead at Breastfeeding Mums Blog wrote about Beginnings and endings
• Andi at Mama Knows Breast has a post up about One Mom’s breastfeeding challenges
• Tiffany at Nature Moms wrote a review of Mama Knows Breast
• Adventures of Pip and Squeak wrote about A complicated relationship
• Bad Ass Dad wrote about The Breastfeeding Father and In Defense of Fatherhood
• Leche, Baby! wrote about Weaning a Toddler
• Tales of Life with a Girl on the Go wrote Breastfeeding Beginnings
• Angela at Breastfeeding 1-2-3 wrote about weaning during pregnancy

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Jan. 25, 2008

I was sitting on the couch with Julian in my lap the other evening as he nursed. His shirt was pulled up a little bit so that his belly was exposed. He lightly touched his tummy with one finger and then giggled. Totally amused, he did it again and again, giggling away as he nursed. :) It was so cute and his laughter so infectious, I was soon laughing right along with him.

And here I thought it was impossible to tickle yourself. Guess not.

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Jan. 24, 2008

Ava was trying to make ducks out of Legos, like daddy makes. I was in the middle of making dinner and told her I’d help her in a minute, but she figured (figgered) it on her own and was so excited.

Ava: I figgered out how Dada did it! I just figgered and figgered and figgered until I got it right!

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Jan. 2, 2008

Julian was laying across my lap having just finished nursing and hung his head upside-down off my leg to look at Ava, who came over to give him some sisterly “love.”

Me: Ava, don’t pull on his [Julian’s] head please.

Ava: You mean don’t pull OFF his head.

Uh, yeah. That too.

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December, 2007

A conversation between Ava and me while I was putting her to bed. I was trying to commend her for her generosity.

Me: “Honey, Santa knew that you were so generous to give away your old doll house to someone who didn’t have one so he brought you the new wooden one.”

Ava: “Santa didn’t know I gave away my farm too. Silly Santa.”

(She got a replacement doll house, but not a replacement farm. That kid, she doesn’t miss anything.)

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Lastly - totally unrelated, but something you don’t want to miss - tomorrow is another round of the Bloggy Giveaways carnival. Last time I gave away a Mommy Blogger t-shirt. This time I’m giving away an HP 6.2 MP Digital Camera! Be sure to check back tomorrow for details and to enter to win. :)
Also just want to mention that this is a GREAT way to gain some exposure for your blog. And you can give just about anything away (see the official site for rules), so nearly anyone with a blog can participate. Hope you’ll join in! :)

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I know I posted about this before, but now they are in the finals and your votes really matter because the contest is neck and neck! Please bear with me and read below. :)

A blogging friend of mine, Tanya at Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog, is trying to get a new Mothers Milk Bank started in New England, where no such facility currently exists. To help raise money for this worthy organization, she entered a contest on Ideablob where a monthly winner gets $10,000 for their cause.

The Milk Bank needs money for 1) processing and storage equipment, 2) a “Milk Money” fund to help families whose insurance won’t cover processing fees, and 3) marketing materials to get the word out about the new bank.

The MMB of NE made it into the finals (yay!) but it is falling behind and needs all the votes it can get to win. This is where you come in! Would you please consider taking a minute to click over and vote? You do need to register to vote, but it only takes about 30 seconds.

Vote for the Mothers Milk Bank of New England

Please, please pass this on to any breastfeeding supporters you know. Voting ends on Jan. 31.

Thank you so much for your help!

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