An anatomy lesson with a 3-year-old

I overheard this conversation between Ava (3) and Jody AKA Daddy while I stepped out of the kitchen to use the bathroom this evening.

Ava: Where’d mommy go?
Daddy: To the bathroom.
Ava: Why?
Daddy: Because she has to pee.
Ava: Why?
Daddy: Because she drank a lot of water so her bladder is full.
Ava: You poop out of your vagina.
Daddy: No, you poop out of your…(pause)…your anus. And you pee out of your urethra.
Ava: What do you use your vagina for?
Daddy: Pause.
That’s a little more complicated. We’ll talk about that when you get older.

(Note: I hesitated before posting this for fear of attracting perverts, so if you are indeed a pervert, please take your leave now. “There’s nothing to see here. Move along. Move along.”)

how sweet it is

Lest any of you get the impression that because I am crunchy I do not indulge in crap that’s bad for me sweets, take a look below at what Jody bought for me last night.

First, a little back story. As you know, I had a migraine on Tuesday, which lessened throughout the day, but was still present last night. Usually my drug sweet of choice is frozen chocolate chips (because we always have some), but since Jody had to run out to the store to pick up some new deodorant (because I somehow lost his – I was cleaning up and put it “away” but now I have no idea where “away” is!) ,I asked him to pick me up a “big bag” of M&Ms to help with my headache. ‘Cuz chocolate is good for what ails ya, don’t ya know? ;)

He came home with this:

Big ass bag of M&Ms

Now is that a big ass bag or what? He thought nearly 3 lbs. of M&Ms would be funny in light of my request for a “big bag.” Apparently I should have specified a “big bag, but not a big ASS bag.” Sheesh. It better take me at least a month to work my way through that. Hahaha. Who am I kidding? It will be gone in a week, maybe two.

Also, what’s up with the “easy-to-use bag” (top left corner)? That cracked me up. I don’t recall ever meeting a bag that was not easy to use. Ahh, marketing. :)

The good news is that although I still had a migraine early this morning when I woke, I took some Ibuprofen and went back to bed. Julian threatened to wake up for the day at 7 and I knew I needed at least another hour so the drugs could kick in. That, and I was still incredibly tired from my late night moon chasing last night – more on that later. So I begged the universe (and my kids) to give me one more hour of sleep so that I could be a happier mom today. They didn’t wake me up until 9:10! Woohoo!!

So, how about you? What’s your sweet of choice?

Now that’s crappy

Two weekends ago, Jody took Ava out to run errands in the morning like they do every Saturday. They had a productive time out, but upon arriving back home Jody confessed, “I’m a crappy dad. I forgot to get Ava lunch.” Oops. She was indeed a bit hungry so we got her fed and all was well.

Fast forward to three days later. I was running late with getting Ava to her last morning of summer camp at the farm. (Jody worked from home that morning so in having him around to help out, I didn’t stay on task like I usually do when I’m doing it alone, and fell woefully behind schedule.) As we were driving there, I explained to her that she would be getting there a little bit late and apologized that I didn’t have my stuff together on time that morning. She replied matter of factly, “You’re a crappy mom.” D’oh!

I kind of figured she’d eventually pick up the only real swear word we use around here on a regular basis. I just didn’t think it would be used quite like that. :oP Thanks, crappy dad.

I’m a Simpson, you’re a Simpson…

Wouldn’t you like to be a Simpson too?

Our family as the Simpsons

I was browsing mommy blogs over on The Mom Blogs and found this link to Simpsonize Me over at Flakes of Bran (where she has a lovely Simpsonized version of her own family) . The temptation was too great. I had to play myself. :)

After I created each of us (well, Jody did his own), I went into Photoshop and played a bit more, assembling us together for a family pic and adding a few personal touches. What do ya think? :)

Well, what are you waiting for? You know you want to go Simpsonize yourself too! ;)

A consumer is born


A conversation between Jody AKA Daddy and Ava (3) as they were out in the car running errands on Sunday.

Ava: “I don’t want to go home. I want to go to Walmart.”

Daddy: “We don’t really go to Walmart, we go to Target.”

Ava: “We shouldn’t go to Target. That’s what the girl said.”

Daddy: “The girl? Where at?”

Ava: “The girl and the boy who was making pictures.”

Daddy: “Why do you want to go to Walmart?”

Ava: “I want to buy everything that I want.”

Apparently Walmart is recruiting them young these days.

The funny this is, we really don’t go to Walmart, so I’m not sure where she got this idea, though Jody suspects she overheard someone talking about Walmart while we were at the mandala creation on Saturday. Despite that fact that we don’t do Walmart, Jody decided to take her anyway to give me some extra time without them in the house Sunday morning.

After hanging out at the “Supercenter” for a little while, they headed to the parking lot. As they were walking out, Ava said she wanted to go back in. Jody asked her why and she replied, “I want to buy flowers for mommy.” Awww. Walmart or not – who can argue with that? ;)

And don’t you just love that picture? God bless the Internet.  

The great stroller misadventure

Unlike the majority of July, August’s temperatures have, so far, not been nearly as sweltering. That being the case, on Friday I decided to load the kids up into the double jogging stroller for a long walk to the park (the one that’s 1.5 miles away – hey, that’s a long walk for me. ;)).

Ava & Julian in the stroller 8/3/07

Apparently, it wasn’t as cool out as I thought it was and I soon started to sweat, but the walk was good for me, it was nice to get out of the house, and the kids were having a good time.

On a bridge 8/3/07

We made it to the park and there was much swinging to be had.

Julian & Ava swinging 8/3/07 More swinging 8/3/07

After about 30 minutes, the clouds cleared and the sun really started beating down on us, and I decided we should head back towards home. We started our walk back and I noticed something funny about one of the rear stroller tires – namely it was making a “tooting” noise that was cracking Ava up. I figured out that it was leaning in at a wonky angle and rubbing on another part of the stroller. I periodically had to straighten it back out, but it wouldn’t stay that way for long. (Now that I look back at my pictures, it seems it was bent from the start of our walk. Hmmm.)

We got about half-way home when the damn wheel wouldn’t straighten any longer and I had to ask Ava to walk so that I could hold that side of the stroller up while I pushed Julian.

No sooner did I lift it off the ground did that damn wheel fall right off and the connecting part was bent too! D’oh! No more wheel for stroller. (Doesn’t Julian look pissed here? LOL)

No more wheel for stroller 8/3/07

Not excited at the prospect of having to maneuver home a busted stroller with two kids in tow, I decided to ditch the stroller next to the stream, with plans to recover it later in the day after Jody got home with the car. I even put some branches in front of it to help camouflage it. ;) LOL

The stroller concealed (Ha!) 8/3/07

Unfortunately, I didn’t bring my Ergo with me, so I had to carry Jules on my hip for the walk back, while Ava happily (thank goodness!) walked and even carried her water bottle which helped me out a ton since my pockets and hands were loaded with everything else (keys, cell phone, tasty granola bars that we made on Thursday, camera, Julian’s toy) we had with us in the stroller.

After a fair bit of walking, Ava wanted to play and I wanted to rest, so we decided to take a breather at the park by our house. Refreshments were needed. Thankfully, we still had water and there was plenty of mama milk to be had as well.

Ava has some water 8/3/07 Julian has some mama milk 8/3/07

After the refreshments, much playing and silliness ensued.

Goofing around 8/3/07 More silliness from Ava 8/3/07 Julian says, “Parks are fun, mama!” 8/3/07

Despite the unexpected wheel mishap and a sweaty mommy, we had a very fun afternoon. :) I’m so glad I grabbed my camera at the last minute so I could document the whole thing. hee, hee.

Unfortunately, the stroller recovery mission that night didn’t go as planned. When we went back to retrieve it (about 4 1/2 hours after I left it), it had been moved and the wheel had been taken. Ugh! We looked all over to see if maybe someone tossed the wheel in the stream, but had no luck finding it. So now we need not only to fix the wheel but to buy a new one as well. Oh, bother.


**UPDATE** – The winner of the Cute As A Bug t-shirt giveaway is Melody of Slurping Life. Congratulations, Melody! And thanks to everyone who entered! :) Stay tuned for more contests in the weeks ahead!