When Ava was born nearly four years ago, I could count the number of mommy friends I had on one hand, er, maybe on two fingers. That didn’t bode well for a very good support network as I entered into the uncharted waters of motherhood. I’m happy (and relieved) to say that number has grown exponentially over the years (or I’m sure I would’ve lost my mind) thanks largely to blogging and, more recently, Twitter. I’ve met mommies (at least virtually) all over the globe and have made real connections with many. Through blog posts, comments, emails and tweets, I’ve been fortunate enough to become part of a community of women who truly care about each other. While we may not all share the same parenting philosophies, religions or political views, we have one thing in common - we are all mothers who love our children.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the amazing women who have been a part of my life (even if only on the Internet) for the past several years. You’ve each touched my life in one way or another and I am grateful for all of you …

- My mommy friends IRL (in real life) including those who have started blogs of their own: Heather, Julie, Melissa, and Sonja.

- My mommy friends who live in the same state as me (CO) who I’ve yet to meet: Katja, Lucretia, Amber, Hatchet (oh wait, I’ve met her!), Kristen, Sarah, Amy, Dawn (wait, I know her too!), Laura, and the Mile High Mamas.

- My mommy friends elsewhere in the US: Steph, Arianne, Ashlee, Leigh, Cara, Deanna, Scylla, Justine, Darla, Alli, Megan, Summer, Sommer, Phyllis, Amy, MB, Melody, Ninotchka, Emily and Jenny, Liesl, Tracey, Jennifer, Annie, Denise, Tanya, Nona, Christina, Nell, Carrie, Christine, Dawn, Deb, Rixa, Sarah, Military Mama, Donna, Christine, LaTara, Ana, Cristina and Izzy, Leslie, Halloweenlover, Jennifer, Erin, Stephania, Kristen, Alana, Tiffany, Dawn, Elizabeth, Michelle, Mama Luxe, Christina, Laura, Michelle, Cristina, Beth, Tara, Michelle, Beckie, Jen, Erika, Farrah, Jenni, Lotus, Stacy, VDog, Jennifer, Amy, all the Blissfully Domestic mamas, Jennifer, Shannan, Janice and Susan, the mamas at API Speaks, the Pinks and Blues girls, Jennifer, the BlogHers, Melody, Mimi, Vered, Maggie, Alice, Susan, Jennifer, Barb, Karla, Stacie, and Erika.

- As well as those mamas in other countries - Half Pint Pixie, Isil, Penny, Chelle, and Sinead.

- And the numerous other mommies who I invariably (and regrettably) left out. And of course, my own mother too.

Thank you to all of you for being my community, my sounding board, my support network and my friends, and traveling with me on my journey through motherhood. :) I’m so glad I haven’t had to do it alone.

I wish you a wonderful Mother’s Day full of lots of love, kisses, hugs, relaxation and chocolate. I hope you can each take a moment out of your day today to reflect on your personal journey through motherhood and to give yourself a pat on the back (and maybe another piece of chocolate too). You deserve it. :)

If you haven’t yet seen the Ultimate List of Moms on Twitter, check it out sometime. And if you aren’t on Twitter yet, what are you waiting for?! Come to the dark side join us. :)

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Today I celebrate my 33rd birthday. Thirty-three years of laughter, tears, joy, sorrow, learning, growing, evolving, loving, living.

For some reason, this number - 33 - has been hard for me. Perhaps because I’m nearly one-third of a century (gah) old now. Perhaps because the days, weeks, months and years seem to be going by faster and faster than ever before. Perhaps because I’ve been taking a mental inventory of my life and haven’t been particularly happy with some of my discoveries. Perhaps a combination of these things.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful life, a charmed life. But I’ve recently had to be honest with myself about how much I can realistically commit to doing and still feel good about the kind of parent I am. I want to do it all. All of us moms do. We want to juggle all of the balls and keep them all up in the air, and, if we drop one (because invariably we will), we don’t want anyone to see it.

I’ve been getting more and more comments lately from people saying they don’t know how I keep it all together or how I do so much. I tend to answer the same way, telling them that it’s hard and I’m still working on finding that perfect balance, but the truth is when someone seems to be doing it all and have all of their sh*t together, you can rest assured that they are falling behind in at least one area (probably more) of their life. I know it was happening to me.

And so I’ve chosen to cut back on some commitments (though it was very hard to) and not take on new ones (even though they were appealing) in an effort to focus more time on the things that really matter - my children and my husband.

Jody and I had a parent-teacher conference with Ava’s Waldorf preschool teacher last night and she raved about what a delight Ava is. Ava is “fiery” (no surprise to us to hear that word), but a real joy. I love hearing about how well she is doing in school and how much her teacher appreciates her. It’s sometimes easier for me to focus on the bad and overlook the good and this was a good reminder for me that she really is an amazing kid.

Julian strung together his first two-word phrase last night. “Hol’ me.” (Hold me.) He said it first to Jody, but later to me as well. He’s been talking more and more the past couple of weeks, but this in particular was oh. so. very. sweet.

I don’t have any special plans for today, and that’s OK with me. I intend on spending some good quality time with the kids and enlisting Ava’s help in baking my cake. I think we’ll go with carrot cake and cream cheese frosting made from scratch. Mmmm. Perhaps we’ll play outside for a bit. Perhaps we’ll read some books. Perhaps I’ll focus on just how amazing these first 33 years of my life have been, how blessed I am, and make a wish for more of the same in my next 33.

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When you ask your mom what she wants for Mother’s Day, is she the type that selflessly states, “Oh, nothing, dear. I already have everything I need.”? If so, good!

I know what you’re thinking. “If my mom won’t tell me what she wants, how can I possibly get something that will make her happy?” Oh, but you can and it’s easy peasy!

What if I said you could buy her a present that honors her for the wonderful mother that she is, as well as helps save the lives of other mothers? Oh, and it’s green and eco-friendly too. Too good to be true? Guess again. :)

Earlier this week, Denise wrote at BlogHer about giving the gift of Maternal Health for Mother’s Day. And I thought to myself - it’s perfect (oh, and also - I’m so blogging this)!

For those of you who haven’t yet heard, BlogHers Act has teamed up with Global Giving in an effort to save as many women’s lives as possible between now and Mother’s Day. There are several worthwhile causes to support:

* Mother and Child Clinic in Nepal: $10 - 2 days’ operating costs for the Clinic OR a year’s worth of care for 5 women and children

* Help Afghan Women Deliver Healthy Babies Safely: $25 - 20 women will have improved quality of life through reproductive healthcare and education

* Ensure Healthcare for 40,000+ Displaced Darfurians: $25 - Trains 2 Traditional Birthing Attendants (includes 3 training sessions and training materials)

* Empower Women to End HIV/AIDS Stigma, South Africa: $50 - 2 women living with HIV/AIDS can receive counseling

* Noon Meal Improves Girls’ Learning in Burkina Faso: $15 - Provides a noon meal for 50 students for one day.

Once you’ve selected the cause you’d like to contribute to, enter the amount you want to give, click on the “give now” button and you will have the option of checking a box that says “Make this donation in honor of someone or send as a gift?.” You can then select if you’d like to send an e-card (hint, hint - save the trees!) or a paper card. Fill out the rest of the information and you’re done. :)

No frenzied trips to the store, no scouring the Internet, no commercialism, no “stuff,” and no worries. Just a wonderful gift to honor your mom and a chance at life for mothers on the other side of the world. You can’t go wrong with that. :)

And if you haven’t yet entered, please don’t miss out on my Earth-Mother’s Day huge green giveaway. You can enter to win until Mother’s Day.

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They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but right now in the Mother’s Day Giveaway at 5 Minutes for Mom, your picture could be worth a thousand dollars. There’s a photo contest going on, the theme is Motherhood and the winner is going to receive a $1,000 AmEx gift card!

This picture says motherhood to me:

It is me with Ava and Julian, one month and one day before he was born.

I know this isn’t exactly wordless, but since it’s for a good cause - actually 1,000 good causes - I hope you’ll forgive me. ;)

Check out some more:
The original Wordless Wednesday
and
Wordless Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Mom

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 THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED TO NEW ENTRIES.

In the spirit of celebrating the original mother, our Mother Earth, for Earth Day and all mothers for Mother’s Day, I decided to combine the two occasions into one big celebration with a huge earth-friendly mother-centric giveaway.

Just as the Earth is our Mother and we must take care of her, we must also take care of our mothers - all mothers. Since joining the “mommy club,” I’ve met some amazing mothers (both here on my blog and out in the “real world”); mothers who deserve to be honored for all that they do to take care of their children and their families. Moms so often make sacrifice after sacrifice to insure their family is provided for. And while the rewards of being a mom are priceless, it is sometimes nice for moms to get a little something extra, a little mommy schwag if you will. ;) That is why this giveaway is designed specifically with moms in mind, to give them some practical things, as well as some fun things, but most importantly to honor them with some green cheer.

Donations for this great green giveaway have come from the following awesome stores/blogs:

Mission Playground’s hip and unique designs promote environmental awareness on soft, organic cotton tees. Mission Playground’s approach is “to create awareness through our environmentally conscious and globally mindful designs.” Some of my favorite designs include: Life’s a Garden, Dig it., Nature’s Calling, and Keep In Touch. Mission Playground carries women’s, men’s and children’s sizes, and donated 1% of sales to non-profit environmental organizations through their S.E.E.D. program. MP has donated two women’s organic t-shirts to the giveaway.

Tees for Change simple designs on organic cotton or bamboo shirts inspire conscious living. The Tees for Change mission is “to inspire you to live life with passion, purpose and positivity. We believe that practicing mindfulness and loving kindness throughout daily life can enhance our whole being.” I personally love “Choose Happiness” and “Live Mindfully,” but Tees for Change has a wide selection of sayings with something that should appeal to everyone. Tees for Change has donated one woman’s organic cotton shirt.

Oceano Sea Glass naturally recycled gems jewelry is hand-crafted from glass that has been rubbed smooth by the ocean. Combing far-flung beaches and discovering the sparkle of “ocean gems,” Christine and her daughter Emily have been inspired by the beauty and significance of sea glass and turned their found treasures into jewelry. Oceano has donated two beautiful one of a kind sets of earrings (one green, one brown) to the giveaway.

Say goodbye to wasteful plastic bags with BYO Bags - reusable produce bags. They are made from nylon mesh, and are reusable, lightweight, breathable, washable and durable. What’s Cooking Weekly - an online menu service offering “healthy and seasonal recipes, grocery lists and tips on making cooking with your kids fun and simple” - has donated two sets of three BYO Bags.

Green cleaning has never been easier than with Lily’s Garden Herbals All Purpose Clean. Made from natural substances like vinegar and essential oils, Lily’s Garden Herbals get the job done without the worry over harmful chemicals. LGH has donated 2 - 32 oz. bottles of All Purpose Clean.

Plastic sandwich bags can be a thing of the past if you use reusable Wrap-n-Mats. The Wrap-n-Mats double as a sandwich wrapper and a place mat. Nature Moms blog has donated two Wrap-n-Mats.

Celebrate the Earth by planting a tree with a flowering catalpa Tree in a Box. Planting a tree doesn’t get much easier than this. The Tree in a Box comes with everything you need. La Mama Naturale blog has donated two Trees in a Box.

One lucky person will win:

• 1 Mission Playground woman’s organic t-shirt
• 1 pair of Oceano earrings
• 1 set of three BYO Bags
• 1 32 oz. bottle of Lily’s Garden Herbals all purpose clean
• 1 Wrap-n-Mat
• 1 Tree in a Box

And one even luckier person will win the grand prize which includes:

• All of the things mentioned above
• And 1 Tees for Change organic cotton t-shirt.

ENTER TO WIN!
While I wish I could open this up to moms all over the world, I’m sorry, but I have to restrict it to US residents only. To enter the Earth-Mother’s Day Giveaway, you must complete the following three steps.

1. Leave a comment stating your favorite t-shirt design from Mission Playground or your favorite piece of jewelry from Oceano. Please make sure you include a valid email address so that I can contact you if you are a winner.
2. Link back to this giveaway on your blog or, if you don’t have a blog, email the link to this giveaway to three friends and cc me on it - amygeekgrl AT gmail DOT com.
3. Sign Mr. Linky below.

All three steps must be completed in order to have a valid entry. The deadline to enter is 10 a.m. Mountain Time Sunday, May 11. Two winners will be chosen using the Random Number Generator later that day (May 11) and announced on Monday, May 12. Good luck! :)

Here is the code for linking back to my giveaway button. (It wasn’t working properly earlier, but I believe it’s been fixed now. Email me if you still have problems. Thanks.):

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At the beginning of the month I wrote about joining the Buy Nothing challenge sponsored by Crunchy Chicken for the month of April. The rules are simple, buy only necessities to live - basically food and gas - for the month.

It really hasn’t been all that hard for me to keep from spending, since I don’t buy much outside of food as it is. There are a few things I’ve been wanting to buy, like new sun hats for the kids and a jacket for Ava, but I’m holding off for now though I may look at the consignment shops, since buying used items if you really need them is allowed.

The part I’ve found particularly challenging is staying away from takeout food, which we generally have once or twice a week. While Crunchy Chicken says going out to eat is OK, depending on where you go, etc., takeout food, because of the amount of waste produced, is off limits. It’s been a challenge for me to cook dinner every night (and I can often be found complaining about it on Twitter), but with the exception of one meal out at the start of the challenge and one trip to Taco Bell (I know, I know and I confessed it) last week, I’m proud of myself at how well I’ve done.

Not only is this challenge keeping us from producing unnecessary waste, it’s saving us money, which I’m really appreciating.

There’s still time to join in for the last two weeks of the month. Head on over to Crunchy Chicken and sign up. Or if you are feeling really adventurous, check out her Extreme Eco Throwdown challenge for the month of May. You might notice even I haven’t signed up yet. I’m still procrastinating trying to figure out what I want to commit to. ;)

Edited to add: I just remembered that I am going to spend some money this weekend. My friends and I are having a moms’ night out tomorrow (woot!) and Sunday is my anniversary (7 years), so Jody and I will probably take the kids out to eat to celebrate that day. So I’m not perfect, but I’m trying. ;)

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My daughter Ava has slept in the same bedroom as me every night for the last nearly four years now. As a newborn she started out in an Arm’s Reach Cosleeper next to Jody’s and my bed, then transitioned into our bed around four months old. When she was two years old, we bought her her own bed, which we put next to our’s to expand our family bed in preparation for the birth of Julian and adding another person to our cosleeping arrangement.

For the most part, cosleeping (or sharing sleep) has been a great experience for our family. I’ve always loved the secure feeling of knowing my children are close by and safe. If they ever cry out or are sick in the middle of the night, I’ve been right there to comfort them. Mornings full of kisses and snuggles and goofing around in the bed are times I cherish.

For the past few weeks, Ava has been saying she’d like to move into her own bedroom. I admit I was rather surprised to hear it coming from her. We’ve talked before about her getting her own room once we move into a larger house (someday), but never pushed the issue in this house. I figure if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

After she mentioned it a few times, weeks apart, I thought we should take this request seriously and respect it. So last Friday we moved her mattress (not her whole bed) from our “family bedroom” to the “kids’ room,” which has always just been a room to store things - dresser of their clothes, a glider, diapering paraphernalia and some toys.

Ava was very excited to be moving into her own room. She declared that she was going to go to sleep all by herself and “no mama milk tonight!,” something she’s said more than once lately, but has yet to follow through on. ;) (I’m gently encouraging her to wean by her fourth birthday in June.) I thought that was a little much to try to tackle all in one night, but since it was at her urging I figured we’d give it a try and see how it went. She soon acquiesced and asked for mama milk and for me to lay with her while she fell asleep (which is our usual bedtime ritual). Before she went to sleep, Jody and I reassured her that we were there if she needed us in the night, and Jody put down a sleeping bag on the floor next to her mattress just in case. We slept with both bedroom doors open so if she woke up, she could easily wander into our room.

After she had some mama milk, we talked for a bit and she fell asleep. I took my time getting up that night. It was a little hard for me to think that my baby girl was growing up and taking the first of many steps towards independence. I laid in bed with her and whispered that I loved her. I gave her three extra kisses before I got up and left her sleeping contentedly in her very own room. It was bittersweet. I snuck back in there a little while later to snap a picture (had to) and cover her back up.

Around 2 a.m. we awoke to Ava yelling “Mommy” and she came running down the hall towards our room. Jody met her in the hallway and carried her into our room, where she said, “I don’t want to move back in here.” So Jody took her back to her room and slept next to her on the floor.

We made a big deal about her first night in her own room the next day and told her how proud we were of her.

That night, not wanting her to feel like she had to stay in her own room if she didn’t want to, I told her we could move her mattress back into our room if she wanted, but she was adamant that she wanted to sleep in her own room again.

She’s been sleeping in her own room now for the past week. She tends to wake up and call out for one of us around 3 or 4 a.m. most nights at which point Jody goes in and sleeps next to her on a second twin mattress that we got off Freecycle this week. Other than that, the transition has gone really well. She is happy to be sleeping by herself and has no plans to move back in with us. Gulp.

I am very proud of my little girl. While this transition was a little harder on me than I think it was on her, I know that we’re doing the right thing. I feel lucky that we had such a great co-sleeping relationship for the first 3 3/4 years of her life and that she was able to move on to her own room when she was ready.

It’s hard to watch your children decide they no longer need you with this or that, but at the same time it’s also rewarding. We give them wings so they can fly.

Just don’t fly too far yet, honey, k? :)

*Alternate title: “Proof that AP kids really will sleep in their own beds someday” ;)

Cosleeping Resources
Kellymom: The Family Bed
Attachment Parenting International: Engage in Nighttime Parenting
The Natural Child Project: Cosleeping
Berkeley Parents Network: Co-sleeping: The Family Bed
Mothering: Sleep articles
The Natural Child Project: Articles on Sleeping

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You may or may not have read that yesterday Lisa Stone announced that BlogHer has teamed up with Global Giving in an effort to save as many women’s lives as possible between now and Mother’s Day. There are several worthwhile causes to support, and myself and others will be blogging about them all month on BlogHer. One of the projects is helping Afghan women safely birth healthy babies.

In the country of Afghanistan a woman dies of pregnancy-related causes every 27 minutes of every day. That’s 53 women every day and nearly 20,000 women per year or 1,900 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births. According to the World Health Organization, in 2000 Afghanistan had the seventh worst maternal mortality rate in the world.

In the province of Badakhshan, “a woman faces almost 600 times the risk of dying in childbirth than do her counterparts living in North America. Of the thousands of infants left motherless, 75 percent will perish either during, or soon after, delivery.”

One of the reasons for the abysmal mortality rate is gender discrimination. In Afghanistan men are seen as superior to women and sons are preferred over daughters. This translates into high rates of female illiteracy and malnutrition. Because of the preference towards sons, daughters are often married off early, while they are still children themselves. “More than 40 percent of Badakshani women are married before the age of 15 and often long before their immature bodies can cope with both the demands of sex and the rigors of childbirth. Girls under the age of 15 are five times more likely to die in childbirth than women in their 20s.”

The terrain of the country is also a problem. Eighty percent of the population live in rural areas which translates into remote and rugged terrain, where roads are poor or don’t exist at all. According to the Population Reference Bureau, only 14% of births in Afghanistan are attended by skilled personnel.

Because many women are without access to basic reproductive education, let alone modern methods of family planning, they are unable to choose when and how many children they have. The contraceptive use among married women, ages 15-49, is just 10%.

This Global Giving project for Afghan women can make a real difference. Creating Hope International and the Afghan Institute of Learning offer “lifesaving health services and medical interventions to pregnant women and babies through three rural clinics in Afghanistan, including on-site baby delivery for high-risk cases. CHI/AIL also educate women about their reproductive health so that they can make healthy choices during pregnancy and delivery.”

I think it’s important to note that the project is sensitive to Afghan culture and works with the community leaders before any programs are implemented. According to Global Giving:

AIL uses a culturally sensitive approach in providing health education and health services to Afghan women and children. They provide education and services in local settings that are safer and easier for women to access. They use mobile clinics to reach patients who cannot safely travel to the nearest health clinics. They employ female health providers because of a cultural preference in Afghanistan that women receive health care from other women. AIL works with community leaders and local men before implementing new and historical controversial programs, and begins new programs only at the request of communities.

As a result of this project 12,000 Afghan women will receive pre- and post-natal care, midwifery, family planning services, education on women’s reproductive health, delivery kits for home delivery, and assessment and intervention for high-risk pregnancies.

To learn a bit more about the Afghan women’s project and the role AIL is playing in education, take a look at this video of a birth attendant training class outside of Kabul: Afghanistan: New Births, New Hope.

A donation of $25 means 20 women will have improved quality of life through reproductive health care and education. For $50, 40 women will have healthier babies because of reproductive health care and education. And for a donation of $85, one woman will be trained as a community health worker and will assist 9,000 women annually. It’s amazing how such a small amount from us can make such a huge impact in the lives of people half-way around the world.

Take action:
Now I pass the torch on to you. Please consider donating, adding a button or a widget (check out my right sidebar) to your blog and/or blogging about this project to help spread the word. If you do any of those things, be sure to leave a comment (and a link to your post if you blog it) below. Together we can make a big difference in the lives of so many women and children.

Stumble it!

Cross-posted at BlogHer

It seems odd to me now that there ever was a time in my life when I didn’t have much knowledge about birth or birth care providers, but when I became pregnant with my first child that’s exactly where I was at. I knew that I wanted to try for a natural birth, but I didn’t know much more beyond that. And so I found myself an obstetrician since that was what “everybody” I knew did. I didn’t have any local mommy friends at the time to offer up their recommendations, so I made my decision on an OB based on the experience a coworker and his wife had. He told me that their OB had let him catch the baby, and since that was something my husband Jody and I had talked about wanting to do and seemed pretty open-minded to me, I figured we would give her a try.

While I don’t recall interviewing this obstetrician per se, she seemed nice enough - though in retrospect her bedside manner was seriously lacking - and she seemed OK with our plans to have a Hypnobirth. In fact, with a few minor exceptions, she agreed to all of our desires on our birth plan and we figured she’d be a good fit for us. After all, she was saying all the right things, so we had no reason to doubt her. Little did I know that when it came time for me to give birth, all bets would be off.

When my time to give birth arrived, my OB’s true colors came shining through and, when reflecting on the experience several months afterward, I felt violated, disrespected, upset, duped and resentful. Yes, I had given birth to a healthy baby which is ultimately what every woman hopes for, but I believe the process and birth experience matters too and mine was seriously lacking. I was left wondering, could there have been another way? A better way?

Back up a few months to the Hypnobirthing childbirth preparation classes my husband and I attended, where I learned of a couple expectant mothers who had plans to have a midwife at their birth rather than an OB. At the time I didn’t know much about midwives - who they were, what they did - and was happy enough with my OB, so I didn’t bother finding out more information. For example, I had no idea that there was a difference between the type of care a midwife provides and that of an OB. I didn’t know what kind of training or schooling a midwife might have. I didn’t know that there were different types of midwives. I didn’t know if midwives attended births in hospitals and/or birthing centers or just at home. I really didn’t have a clue and I have a feeling that I was certainly not alone in that regard.

Here in the United States, giving birth in a hospital with a doctor is the norm. Yet in the majority of cases a midwife-attended birth in a birthing center or at home is just as safe. However, many women have never heard of midwives or what they have heard is often full of misconceptions.

It wasn’t until I had given birth to my daughter, officially joined the “mommy club,” and made some mommy friends of my own that I began to hear more and more about midwives and learn about the role that they play in helping women prenatally, during birth and postnatal.

I was fortunate in that one of my best friends ended up deciding on a midwife-attended home birth for her second child. She had such a wonderful experience that when I was pregnant with my second child, I decided to leave my new OB (even though she was a far cry better than my previous one) and have a midwife-attended home birth as well.

Thankfully, the word is slowly getting out and more people are learning about the value and importance of midwives thanks to Ricki Lake’s documentary “The Business of Being Born,” which I highly recommend all women and their partners see. It’s available on Netflix.

Here’s a bit more about midwives to help clear up any misconceptions.

What is the role of a midwife?
According to Midwives Alliance of North America, “Midwives are trained to provide comprehensive prenatal care and education, guide labor and birth, address complications, and care for newborns.” You can read about the different variations of midwives at MANA.

Why choose a midwife?
“Throughout most of the world, and most of history, women have labored and birthed with midwives. It is only in the last few decades that it has become common in the U.S. to birth in a hospital setting with a doctor. Being pregnant and giving birth are normal life processes for which a woman’s body is well-designed. Midwifery care has been proven to be a safe and nurturing alternative to physician-attended hospital birth.” - MANA

How does the care of a midwife differ from that of a doctor?
Midwives practice using the Midwifery Model of Care which is based on the fact that pregnancy and birth are normal life processes. This is a fundamentally different approach to pregnancy and childbirth and is in stark contrast to the standard Medical Model of Care.

The Midwives Model of Care includes:

• monitoring the physical, psychological and social well-being of the mother throughout the childbearing cycle
• providing the mother with individualized education, counseling, and prenatal care, continuous hands-on assistance during labor and delivery, and postpartum support
• minimizing technological interventions and;
• identifying and referring women who require obstetrical attention

The application of this model has been proven to reduce to incidence of birth injury, trauma, and cesarean section.

The women I know who have experienced both the medical model of care and the midwifery model of care prefer the midwifery model. Personally, when I saw my midwife for my prenatal care I felt like a real person, rather than just a number (which is how I felt at one OB’s practice, that I left I might add). I loved that my prenatal appointments with my midwife lasted an hour at a time and never felt rushed. I loved that I formed a bond with my midwife and that she knew me (and my daughter who accompanied me to all of my prenatal appointments) before I gave birth.

MamaAudrey at Deconstructing Motherhood remarks about her decision to go with a midwife and birthing center instead of a doctor and hospital:

I felt like I was in control of my pregnancy at the birth center and that my voice was important. At my doctor, I felt like just another number with a voice that needed to be silenced when heard. Thus began my prenatal care with nurses and midwives.

Mary at My First Pregnancy Ever agrees that there is a big difference between the two models of care.

And I think I can now rant about why I love my MW better than my doctor already. I went to my doctor on the 7th and saw the MW on the 9th. Both were very nice to me but you can so see the difference in their scope of practice.

She goes on to compare and contrast the two visits.

Ultimately the decision on who to have attend her birth is up to the mother, but it is my hope that women might learn from my mistakes and do their research ahead of time. Interview more than one doctor and/or midwife until you find one that is right for you. Knowledge is power.

Related links:
Midwives Alliance of North America
The Big Push for Midwives
Citizens for Midwifery
Midwifery Today
Motherbaby International Film Festival
The Business of Being Born

Blogs by Midwives:
Close to the Root by Kneelingwoman
Navelgazing Midwife
The Journey of an Apprentice Midwife
Homebirth: Midwifery Mutiny in South Australia
Midwife: Sage Femme, Hebamme, Comadrona, Partera
Meconium Happens

* Photo credit: Business of Being Born

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As many of you know, I’m a big advocate of attachment parenting. I’ve seen the benefits of raising my children according to AP principles such as breastfeeding (feeding with love), baby wearing, responsive nighttime parenting, gentle discipline, etc. My husband Jody and I didn’t start out the road to parenting set on AP, it just kind of happened. For us it just feels natural, like we are trusting our instincts.

We’ve seen the way that Ava has blossomed into an almost 4-year-old who is secure, loving, friendly, healthy, imaginative and independent, and we attribute this largely to the way that we raised her. Julian is only 16 months old, but he too is a very happy, healthy, well-adjusted little person. I believe that by meeting our children’s needs when they are little, they have come to learn that they can depend on us and trust us for the long haul. It’s certainly not all been easy nor a bed of roses, but anyone who thinks parenting is convenient is surely mistaken. It is my hope that by building a solid foundation with them when they are young, we are creating a lasting, trust-based relationship that will endure throughout their adolescent years and into adulthood.

I feel fortunate that I have found a support network of like-minded parents here locally through Attachment Parenting International.

Attachment Parenting International (API), a non-profit organization that promotes parenting practices that create strong, healthy emotional bonds between children and their parents, has several exciting changes they would like to announce, including:

• A newly redesigned web site and new logo at Attachment Parenting.org (Check out the photos on the home page - at least one might look familiar to you. It’s Jody and Ava on the right and I also took the first picture in that grouping. A few more of my pictures are scattered around the site. My little claim to fame. hehe.);
• Attachment parenting worldwide support forums;
• Parent Education Program - a comprehensive series of classes for every stage and age of child development from infancy through adulthood;
• A new book based on API’s Eight Principles of Attachment Parenting by API co-founders Lysa Parker and Barbara Nicholson which is expected to be available this summer;
• A series of podcasts, webinars, chats, and forums with API Advisory Board members and other supporters of AP. Future events are scheduled with Dr. Bob Sears, Dr. James McKenna, and Kathleen Kendall Tacket. Check out the events page for more information.

These are just a few of many exciting things going on at API. I hope you’ll stop by the website and check it out for yourself. Perhaps you’ll find something that resonates with you. :)

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