Today I celebrate my 33rd birthday. Thirty-three years of laughter, tears, joy, sorrow, learning, growing, evolving, loving, living.

For some reason, this number - 33 - has been hard for me. Perhaps because I’m nearly one-third of a century (gah) old now. Perhaps because the days, weeks, months and years seem to be going by faster and faster than ever before. Perhaps because I’ve been taking a mental inventory of my life and haven’t been particularly happy with some of my discoveries. Perhaps a combination of these things.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful life, a charmed life. But I’ve recently had to be honest with myself about how much I can realistically commit to doing and still feel good about the kind of parent I am. I want to do it all. All of us moms do. We want to juggle all of the balls and keep them all up in the air, and, if we drop one (because invariably we will), we don’t want anyone to see it.

I’ve been getting more and more comments lately from people saying they don’t know how I keep it all together or how I do so much. I tend to answer the same way, telling them that it’s hard and I’m still working on finding that perfect balance, but the truth is when someone seems to be doing it all and have all of their sh*t together, you can rest assured that they are falling behind in at least one area (probably more) of their life. I know it was happening to me.

And so I’ve chosen to cut back on some commitments (though it was very hard to) and not take on new ones (even though they were appealing) in an effort to focus more time on the things that really matter - my children and my husband.

Jody and I had a parent-teacher conference with Ava’s Waldorf preschool teacher last night and she raved about what a delight Ava is. Ava is “fiery” (no surprise to us to hear that word), but a real joy. I love hearing about how well she is doing in school and how much her teacher appreciates her. It’s sometimes easier for me to focus on the bad and overlook the good and this was a good reminder for me that she really is an amazing kid.

Julian strung together his first two-word phrase last night. “Hol’ me.” (Hold me.) He said it first to Jody, but later to me as well. He’s been talking more and more the past couple of weeks, but this in particular was oh. so. very. sweet.

I don’t have any special plans for today, and that’s OK with me. I intend on spending some good quality time with the kids and enlisting Ava’s help in baking my cake. I think we’ll go with carrot cake and cream cheese frosting made from scratch. Mmmm. Perhaps we’ll play outside for a bit. Perhaps we’ll read some books. Perhaps I’ll focus on just how amazing these first 33 years of my life have been, how blessed I am, and make a wish for more of the same in my next 33.

Stumble it!

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but right now in the Mother’s Day Giveaway at 5 Minutes for Mom, your picture could be worth a thousand dollars. There’s a photo contest going on, the theme is Motherhood and the winner is going to receive a $1,000 AmEx gift card!

This picture says motherhood to me:

It is me with Ava and Julian, one month and one day before he was born.

I know this isn’t exactly wordless, but since it’s for a good cause - actually 1,000 good causes - I hope you’ll forgive me. ;)

Check out some more:
The original Wordless Wednesday
and
Wordless Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Mom

Stumble it!

I had the privilege of observing this conversation at the dinner table this week.

Ava wasn’t very motivated to eat dinner, so I enthusiastically pointed out the different foods on her plate in hopes of encouraging her to eat something. After saying the name of each thing, Ava added “poop” to the list of foods.

Jody piped in, “We don’t eat poop, our food turns into poop.” And then gave a fast lesson on digestion about how when we eat food it goes into our tummies, turns into energy and helps us grow, and then we poop out what’s left.

Ava had an incredulous look on her face and said, “Nuh-uh, that’s not what happens.”

Jody said, “What happens to food when we eat it?”

Ava explained that when we eat food “it goes into a pile and then little bits go out to your body” and give you lots of “energy and energy and energy!” At which point she got very animated in demonstrating the energy.

She then turned to me to ask, “Is that right, Mommy?”

Me: “Yes, that’s pretty close to what happens.”

Jody (to Ava): “So then where does poop come from?”

Ava (pausing to think for a second): “Your butt.”

Cue peals of laughter from Jody and me.

Yep, Ava, you definitely know what you’re talking about. :)

Stumble it!

I had a wonderful weekend. The weather was amazing. Hooray for spring!

First, I enjoyed a night out with my friends including dinner at a very tasty Japanese restaurant on Saturday night. Three and a half hours of good food, good company and good conversation. Oh, moms’ night out - how I need you more often! ;)

Then Sunday Jody and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. It’s amazing how much our lives have changed in seven years, though definitely in a good way. We took the kids out to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Things got a little chaotic between the appetizer and main course (let’s just say you could tell Julian hasn’t been out to eat much), so I took the kids outside to listen to a street busker play the saxophone (which Julian was enrapt by) until our food arrived. That did the trick. Jody called me on my cell phone when the waiter brought our meals and the kids were ready to dig in. Trying to head off any further restlessness, we rushed through dinner, which was delicious, then got a couple of pieces of cheesecake to go. (So much for the Buy Nothing challenge this weekend. Oy.)

I have a couple pictures of Julian to share from this week, one just being cute and then one enjoying his hummus.

And then this one of Ava and Julian is my Best Shot for the week. Of course I wish they were both looking at the camera, but I also love the far off look in Julian’s eyes, while Ava looks cute as a button.

Head on over to Mother May I to see what everyone else has in store for their Best Shot Monday posts.

Stumble it!

At the beginning of the month I wrote about joining the Buy Nothing challenge sponsored by Crunchy Chicken for the month of April. The rules are simple, buy only necessities to live - basically food and gas - for the month.

It really hasn’t been all that hard for me to keep from spending, since I don’t buy much outside of food as it is. There are a few things I’ve been wanting to buy, like new sun hats for the kids and a jacket for Ava, but I’m holding off for now though I may look at the consignment shops, since buying used items if you really need them is allowed.

The part I’ve found particularly challenging is staying away from takeout food, which we generally have once or twice a week. While Crunchy Chicken says going out to eat is OK, depending on where you go, etc., takeout food, because of the amount of waste produced, is off limits. It’s been a challenge for me to cook dinner every night (and I can often be found complaining about it on Twitter), but with the exception of one meal out at the start of the challenge and one trip to Taco Bell (I know, I know and I confessed it) last week, I’m proud of myself at how well I’ve done.

Not only is this challenge keeping us from producing unnecessary waste, it’s saving us money, which I’m really appreciating.

There’s still time to join in for the last two weeks of the month. Head on over to Crunchy Chicken and sign up. Or if you are feeling really adventurous, check out her Extreme Eco Throwdown challenge for the month of May. You might notice even I haven’t signed up yet. I’m still procrastinating trying to figure out what I want to commit to. ;)

Edited to add: I just remembered that I am going to spend some money this weekend. My friends and I are having a moms’ night out tomorrow (woot!) and Sunday is my anniversary (7 years), so Jody and I will probably take the kids out to eat to celebrate that day. So I’m not perfect, but I’m trying. ;)

Stumble it!

Spring is finally in the air around here, and we enjoyed a nice weekend. :)

Went to “work day” at Ava’s preschool on Saturday and helped plant flowers and do other yard work before enjoying a potluck lunch. It was more fun than I was expecting and it felt good to get my hands in the dirt.

Sunday was a beautiful day with temps in the 60s and lots of sun. The kids played outside for much of the day. The spring-like weather inspired me to wash the windows on the house and do a little pruning of some of our bushes.

We’re expecting more weather in the 60s and 70s this week and I am thrilled. :)

My best shot for the week is of the lone daffodil in our front yard.

Head on over to Mother May I to see what everyone else has in store for their Best Shot Monday posts.

Stumble it!

My daughter Ava has slept in the same bedroom as me every night for the last nearly four years now. As a newborn she started out in an Arm’s Reach Cosleeper next to Jody’s and my bed, then transitioned into our bed around four months old. When she was two years old, we bought her her own bed, which we put next to our’s to expand our family bed in preparation for the birth of Julian and adding another person to our cosleeping arrangement.

For the most part, cosleeping (or sharing sleep) has been a great experience for our family. I’ve always loved the secure feeling of knowing my children are close by and safe. If they ever cry out or are sick in the middle of the night, I’ve been right there to comfort them. Mornings full of kisses and snuggles and goofing around in the bed are times I cherish.

For the past few weeks, Ava has been saying she’d like to move into her own bedroom. I admit I was rather surprised to hear it coming from her. We’ve talked before about her getting her own room once we move into a larger house (someday), but never pushed the issue in this house. I figure if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

After she mentioned it a few times, weeks apart, I thought we should take this request seriously and respect it. So last Friday we moved her mattress (not her whole bed) from our “family bedroom” to the “kids’ room,” which has always just been a room to store things - dresser of their clothes, a glider, diapering paraphernalia and some toys.

Ava was very excited to be moving into her own room. She declared that she was going to go to sleep all by herself and “no mama milk tonight!,” something she’s said more than once lately, but has yet to follow through on. ;) (I’m gently encouraging her to wean by her fourth birthday in June.) I thought that was a little much to try to tackle all in one night, but since it was at her urging I figured we’d give it a try and see how it went. She soon acquiesced and asked for mama milk and for me to lay with her while she fell asleep (which is our usual bedtime ritual). Before she went to sleep, Jody and I reassured her that we were there if she needed us in the night, and Jody put down a sleeping bag on the floor next to her mattress just in case. We slept with both bedroom doors open so if she woke up, she could easily wander into our room.

After she had some mama milk, we talked for a bit and she fell asleep. I took my time getting up that night. It was a little hard for me to think that my baby girl was growing up and taking the first of many steps towards independence. I laid in bed with her and whispered that I loved her. I gave her three extra kisses before I got up and left her sleeping contentedly in her very own room. It was bittersweet. I snuck back in there a little while later to snap a picture (had to) and cover her back up.

Around 2 a.m. we awoke to Ava yelling “Mommy” and she came running down the hall towards our room. Jody met her in the hallway and carried her into our room, where she said, “I don’t want to move back in here.” So Jody took her back to her room and slept next to her on the floor.

We made a big deal about her first night in her own room the next day and told her how proud we were of her.

That night, not wanting her to feel like she had to stay in her own room if she didn’t want to, I told her we could move her mattress back into our room if she wanted, but she was adamant that she wanted to sleep in her own room again.

She’s been sleeping in her own room now for the past week. She tends to wake up and call out for one of us around 3 or 4 a.m. most nights at which point Jody goes in and sleeps next to her on a second twin mattress that we got off Freecycle this week. Other than that, the transition has gone really well. She is happy to be sleeping by herself and has no plans to move back in with us. Gulp.

I am very proud of my little girl. While this transition was a little harder on me than I think it was on her, I know that we’re doing the right thing. I feel lucky that we had such a great co-sleeping relationship for the first 3 3/4 years of her life and that she was able to move on to her own room when she was ready.

It’s hard to watch your children decide they no longer need you with this or that, but at the same time it’s also rewarding. We give them wings so they can fly.

Just don’t fly too far yet, honey, k? :)

*Alternate title: “Proof that AP kids really will sleep in their own beds someday” ;)

Cosleeping Resources
Kellymom: The Family Bed
Attachment Parenting International: Engage in Nighttime Parenting
The Natural Child Project: Cosleeping
Berkeley Parents Network: Co-sleeping: The Family Bed
Mothering: Sleep articles
The Natural Child Project: Articles on Sleeping

Stumble it!

I got sick of seeing those first thing in the morning pictures of myself at the top of my blog so here I am posting a bit of nothingness to fill the void. Truthiness is good for a day, not for a week. :oP

It’s not that I don’t have something of substance to write about. I do - too much, in fact! I was just looking at the posts I’ve started, links I’ve bookmarked, and topics I want to write about and I’m at more than 50! My problem is that I don’t have enough time to write about everything (or anything on some days). Anyone else run into that?

Like right now, I really want to write about the exciting adventure we had this weekend when Ava decided - all by herself - that she wanted to sleep in her own room (after co-sleeping for the first 3 3/4 years of her life). But I don’t have time to elaborate right now, so that post will have to wait for another day.

There’s been a lot going on in the world regarding mommy bloggers that I’d like to blog about. First there was the fiasco with Johnson &Johnson’s Camp Baby (which, based on all the live Tweets I read, actually looks like it turned out to be a pretty good, albeit unusual, time), and then the mommy blogger meet-up with Katie Couric, all the while BlogHer’s Business Convention was going on.

There’s also been some bad news (death, heart attacks) in the blogging world. Stress can kill ya in any job. Bloggers aren’t immune.

I’d also like to write about how to be a better blogger (not by writing posts like this one - LOL), but I have two kids hanging on me and I can’t linger (and all of this news about blogging and stress is stressing me out!).

And then there are a ton of green links, tips, and other minutia that I’d love to share, but again, no time.

So there you have it, a short post full of nothing in particular, but now you don’t have to look at my sleepy face anymore and I know you’re thanking me for it. :)

Stumble it!

Ever since Sweetney did her Truthiness Self-portrait post about a month ago, many women I know from around the ‘net have joined in to share themselves - no shower, no hair brushed, no makeup, no teeth brushed - first thing in the morning too.

I took these pictures over a week ago and have been holding them hostage onto them, but the time has come for full disclosure. Here I am - the “real me” - moments after I woke up (oh, and my little friends joined in too).

Head on over to Mother May I to see what everyone else has in store for their Best Shot Monday posts.

Stumble it!

When I saw Crunchy Chicken’s latest challenge - Buy Nothing (with the exception of food, medications or other essentials) for the month of April - I said heck yeah, I am down with that! I’d actually been considering joining Mamas on The Compact for a two-month stint, but figured this would be a little bit easier and a good trial run for me since it’s just for a month. (And I’m a little chicken nervous about committing to longer than that, especially since summer is coming up and we might be planning a couple trips.)

Of course, wouldn’t you know it, the very first day (April 1st) I ran into a dilemma with the challenge. The kids and I went to pick up Jody from work and decided to go out to eat before heading home. But hmmm, is going out to eat allowed I wondered? It’s food, which is allowed, but the act of going out to eat does seem sort of extravagant. Too bad I didn’t have Crunchy Chicken on my speed dial. Decisions, decisions.

As luck would have it, the first two places we tried to go were closed anyway. The first was Alexander’s, my favorite healthy Mexican food place in Boulder, which has apparently gone out of business. :( What’s up with that?

Next we tried Heidi’s Brooklyn Deli because we had a coupon. We parked two blocks away, fed the meter, then walked over only to find a note on the door - “Closed at 3 p.m. today for company meeting.” On April Fool’s Day of all days. I thought it was a joke, but it wasn’t.

I decided the fates were conspiring against us and a dinner out was not in the card and was ready to just give up and head home when we passed a health-conscious restaurant called Turley’s that includes some local food and organics on their menu. I commanded Jody, “Just go to Turley’s,” and he did. :)

After all of that, I’d like to say that we had a nice, relaxing dinner, but in reality the kids were tired, Julian was not content to sit in a high chair, and the whole meal was very rushed (but tasty).

Feeling a bit guilty about my possible failure on the very first day, I sent Crunchy Chicken an email asking for clarification if going out to dinner counted as food or not. She said she was a little unsure about that herself, but basically concluded that it can be allowed but it depends on where you go, what you are eating and that no disposable packaging is involved. So, McDonald’s (eww anyway) - definitely a no. A restaurant with healthy food and no disposable takeout containers - OK. I can deal with that. I will confess that we brought home a small cardboard container on Tuesday, but I recycled it.

If you feel you are up to the challenge, you can still join. Head on over and sign up to Buy Nothing. If you absolutely need something non-edible or not essential to growing your own food or for your survival, you must acquire it by borrowing, bartering or buying it used. If you buy something new that is non-essential, Crunchy Chicken will have a Sunday Confessional post for everyone to spill the beans.

Good night and good luck. :)

Stumble it!