Talking to Kids about Marijuana

Happy and Healthy

About a month ago my family took a road trip to southern Colorado primarily to explore the Great Sand Dunes National Park. As luck would have it, the weather didn’t entirely cooperate, and we awoke to freshly fallen snow on our first morning outside the dunes. Recalling that a few friends had mentioned a nearby alligator and reptile rescue (yep, in Colorado – there are geothermal springs), we decided to head there instead of to the dunes that day.

While at the rescue, my 9-year-old son had a chance to hold a young alligator. After getting a few pictures snapped (ha, no pun intended), the alligator handler filled out a certificate of bravery for Julian and had the alligator bite the paper to “make it official.” He then asked my son to hold out his arm for a real alligator bite to show his friends that he really did hold one. Julian thought momentarily, then extended his arm. The handler started laughing a little bit and waved his arm away saying, “When you get older, people might ask you to do dumb things just for their entertainment. They’re called your friends. But you don’t have to do it. You can say no.”

That made me think about how as my kids enter their teenage years (it’s coming up so fast), they will likely encounter other kids who suggest they do X, Y, or Z — and marijuana may very well be one of those things.

In 2014 marijuana became legal for adults 21+ in Colorado. As a result of this, the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment (CDPHE) was tasked with educating the public about the health effects associated with retail marijuana use. Good to Know Colorado is the nation’s first public education campaign regarding the legal, safe and responsible use of retail marijuana. The campaign also helps parents and other adults learn the facts so they can have a positive, effective conversation with youth about not using retail marijuana before age 21.

Did you know that a child’s brain is still developing until age 25? For the best chance to reach their full potential, young people should not use retail marijuana. Using marijuana before age 21 can have negative health effects such as: decreased athletic performance, difficulty learning and memory issues, impaired judgment, and it’s harder to stop using marijuana if you start at a young age. For more information about the health effects of marijuana on youth, visit the Good to Know website.

According to the 2012 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, first-time use of most substances, such as drugs and alcohol, among youth peaks during the summer months of June and July. That’s why it’s important for parents to start talking with their kids NOW about marijuana to ensure their children understand the reasons why and how to say no to retail marijuana.

Start the Conversation

The Good to Know website is an excellent resource when it comes to learning how to talk to your kids and encourage them to say no, while staying positive and maintaining a good relationship with your kids. For most parents, talking to their kids about drug and alcohol use doesn’t come naturally. And although it may be easy to tell kids to “just say no,” it’s not always that easy for kids to actually do it.

Good to Know offers a lot of great tips for parents to talk to their kids and advice on how to help kids find a way to say no that works for them, including:

  • Role-playing with kids is a great way to practice saying “no.”
  • Many kids don’t realize saying “no” can be as simple as saying, “If I get caught, I won’t be able to do sports, theater, dance, etc.”
  • You can also encourage your kids to use you as an excuse to avoid marijuana use. For example, “My parents would ground me for the summer.” This is especially effective for pre-teens.
  • Make sure you have the conversation more than once.

See below for more tips on how to talk to your kids about underage marijuana use.

talkingtokids1

Parenting comes with its challenges at all ages of development, which is why as we enter those tween/teen years, I’m thankful for resources such as this one to help me tackle an otherwise possibly difficult subject.

For more information about talking to your kids about underage marijuana use, please visit the Good to Know website at GoodtoKnowColorado.com/Talk.

This post is sponsored by Single Edition Media on behalf of the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment. Opinions are my own.

Mother Knows Best

A worriedmotherdoes betterresearchthan the (1)
I recently came across the following quote, “A worried mother does better research than the FBI.” If you are a reader of my blog, my guess is that you can relate to that. I certainly can.

From the time I found out I was pregnant to present day, I’ve found that to be so true. Of course I don’t take it literally, but I do find that when a mom is concerned about her child (I like the word concerned more than worried) and X, Y, or Z, she will research the heck of out it, talk to others who know about the topic, and then research it some more until she finds the answers for which she is looking. That’s in large part what my blogging has been about all of these years — addressing topics like home birth, circumcision, cosleeping, vaccinations, child-led weaning (breastfeeding), babywearing, home schooling, unschooling and more. As I have researched what was best for my family, I then passed that information along via my blog for anyone who was looking for it.

One of my favorite sayings over the years has been “Knowledge is power.” I truly believe that when we as moms know better, we do better. I also believe that what is “best” for me and my family may differ from what is best for you and your family and I LOVE that we all have the right to choose what that looks like.

I don’t believe in telling people what they should do. I believe in offering information, educating, and allowing them to make the decisions that work for them.

What is something you have recently researched or something you are currently researching?

As for me, I’m working on a tricky one. I sometimes yearn for the “simpler” issues from the baby and toddler years. Of course at the time, those were the tricky issues.

I’ve been researching anxiety disorders (one variation in particular) as they relate to children. I’ve learned a lot in the past couple weeks. Anxiety isn’t anything new in my child’s life, but now that I’ve had a health professional bring it up, I’ve been pushed back into research mode. I want to make sure we are doing what we can to help rather than hinder and address the issues that need addressing.

Not surprisingly, this isn’t the first time I’ve broached this topic on my blog. I wrote nearly four years ago about how “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” I wrote in rather vague terms then and I am now as well because I don’t feel it’s fair to my child to delve into it too deeply in a public forum.

But here I am, nearly four years later still trying to figure it out, get answers and help. Hopefully we are on the right track. I’ll keep on researching, getting help where appropriate and doing the best that I can. That’s all a mama can do, right?

Related posts:

If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to my mailing list.

* indicates required



Talking about Unschooling with Barb Lundgren

Barb Lundgren

I recently had the opportunity to attend a free talk about unschooling by Barb Lundgren, a mother to three (now) adult unschoolers. Barb is also the founder of the Rethinking Everything Conference and the editor of Home Education Magazine, devoted entirely to unschooling.

The talk was at the co-housing community of Nyland in Lafayette, Colo., and was facilitated by Leslie Potter of Pure Joy Parenting.

Barb Lundgren and Leslie Potter

I took some notes and would like to share a little bit about what I took away from the evening. It may seem a little disjointed, but I just wanted to put these thoughts “out there” for anyone who is interested in learning more about unschooling and/or how children raised with unschooling might “turn out.” Some of my thoughts which expand on Barb’s may be interspersed.

Regarding whether kids need to learn to do X, Y, or Z at a certain age

Traditional parenting assumes there is a certain time for each thing to happen in a child’s life. Unschooling, on the other hand, relies heavily on TRUST. You have to trust that your children will learn what they need to learn, when they need to learn it.

  • It’s not uncommon for unschooled kids to learn to read later than kids who go to school. One of Barb’s sons didn’t learn to read until he was a teen. Once he did, however, he read the Lord of the Rings trilogy twice in about six weeks.
  • A boy attended a Sudbury School, where children are allowed do pursue whatever interests them. This boy was very interested in fishing and spent all of his time fishing and learning about fishing until he was 17. At age 17, his interests shifted. He left fishing behind and moved onto computers. He started his own computer software business and by age 21 sold it for $1 million.
  • John Holt, an educator and author who coined the term “unschooling” was asked, What do ALL kids need to know (in terms of academic measure)? His answer: Nothing.
  • This isn’t about academics, but is one of my own examples of kids learning to do something when they are ready. My kids were never interested in learning how to ride bikes. While many kids are on two wheels by age 5 or 6 or even 3 or 4, mine had no such interest. They rode their scooters and were plenty happy with them. Then all of a sudden this summer (at ages 7 and almost 10) they decided they wanted to learn to ride bikes. We got them each a bike (because they’d long outgrown the ones we got when we *thought* they’d learn to ride) and within about 5 minutes of my husband running up and down the street with them, they were doing it on their own. We’ve since gone for many a family bike ride.

Family bike ride
Like I said previously, unschooling is based on trust. It is about living life on our own terms. Barb said, “You have to believe your child is here to enjoy his life.”

Being free leads to responsibility and accountability.

On Control and Anger

The number one reason people experience anger is that they feel like they are being controlled. This applies to children as well as adults. Think about it this way: If someone (your spouse, for example) told you it was time to get off your computer and go to bed and you were in the middle of something that was important to you, how would that make you feel? You would want your spouse to support you, not tell you what to do when and how to live your life. Your child probably feels similarly. Try to put yourself in your child’s position. Think about how you would want to be treated. Perhaps there’s a way to talk about it kindly without demanding they follow your orders ASAP.

Irritation opens the door for communication. If one member of the family is doing something that bothers another, have a family meeting. Involve everybody. Discuss it. Come to consensual solutions.

On Video Games

Video gaming used to stress Barb when her children first started playing them, but then she made it into a challenge of sorts. Could she do better than the video game? She’d ask her kids questions like, “Who wants to go camping?” or say, “Let’s have a party.” That way she was still getting quality time with her kids.

If you miss your child because they are spending so much time on their computer, Xbox, etc., let them know. The next time they aren’t playing a game, tell them you miss them.

It may be reassuring to some parents that Barb’s kids no longer play video games or watch TV as adults, but they watched a lot of TV as teens. Of course that’s not to say that all kids will stop playing games or watching TV as adults.

On College

Because there is so much information available on the internet — between Google and YouTube, one can find the answer to most anything — the only reason college would be absolutely necessary is to become a traditional physician, an engineer or a lawyer.

Many unschoolers seek out entrepreneurial opportunities.

How Do Unschooled Kids Turn Out?

As mentioned previously, many unschoolers choose to forego college in pursuit of entrepreneurial opportunities.

In Barb’s case, one of her children is now a business owner, one is an organic farmer and one is the founder of a sustainable community. Barb pointed out to me, however, that it’s impossible to duplicate another’s unschooling experience. She said, “Unschooling is successful and deeply satisfying when deeply listening and connecting to one another. That will produce radically different experiences for each.”

Interested in learning about what other grown unschoolers are doing? The blog I’m Unschooled. Yes, I Can Write has a page called Unschooling Grows Up: A Collection of Interviews by grown unschoolers.

quote_Holt_made_to_learn

Final thoughts

Unschooling is based on TRUST. I can’t emphasize that enough.

You don’t have to feel secure in unschooling. You just need to “feel secure in loving your child.”

Barb’s book and website recommendations

  • Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear by Pam Leo
  • Partnership Parenting: How Men and Women Parent Differently–Why It Helps Your Kids and Can Strengthen Your Marriage by Kyle Pruett, MD and Marsha Pruett, MD
  • Summerhill School: A New View of Childhood by A.S. Neill
  • Enjoy Parenting by Scott Noelle

More thoughts from Barb can be found here:

Don’t miss a single CDG post, subscribe to my blog.

Longmont carjacking/abduction prompts question: Is it safe to leave kids in the car?

This morning a car was stolen from a Longmont, Colo. gas station with 4-year-old Allen Chavarria-Rodriquez inside. An Amber Alert was issued and thankfully the boy was safely recovered later as the suspect ditched the car and jacked two others until he was apprehended in Parker. This event prompts the question: Is it ever safe to leave kids in the car?

carseat

A recent Mothering article written by Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range Kids, titled Okay to Leave Kids in the Car While Popping into a Store? made me think about my own practices when it comes to running into the store days before the carjacking/kidnapping occured so close to home.

According to Mothering, it is against the law in 19 states to leave a child unattended in a car.

The laws differ in their particulars, but basically they state that a child under age 6, 7 or, in Utah, 9, cannot be left alone in the car for more than five or 10 minutes. In Nebraska, having your 6-year-old wait in the car is an offense in the same category as allowing the child to be “deprived of necessary food” or “sexually exploited.” In Louisiana, a second kid-in-car infraction carries a sentence of not less than one year in prison, “with or without hard labor.”

These laws seem extreme and the examples Skenazy provides of them being carried out are a little maddening. Moms separated from their children and hauled to the police station? The intention behind the laws is in the spirit of protecting the children, of course, but there is a big difference between leaving a child in a car in 90 degree heat and running into a store where you can see them to grab a gallon of milk.

Martha Rodriguez, the mother of the boy in the Longmont carjacking, will not face charges for leaving her child in a running vehicle said Longmont Police Department spokesperson Jeffrey Satur, “as law enforcement did not feel she had been negligent in regards to her child.

“’It is not like she left her kid in the car for hours on end,’ Satur said. ‘She just parked outside the business and walked in and the guy jumped in the car. So, we’re talking maybe 15 or 20 feet.’”

I have been known to leave my kids (7 and 9) in the car on occasion while I run into a store to grab a few things. I always lock the car and take my keys with me. I often leave my phone with the kids as well. I feel OK doing this or I wouldn’t do it. Would I leave my sleeping 6-month-old in the car while I ran into the store? Probably not. That just doesn’t feel OK to me.

I don’t like to live my life in fear of the what-ifs. Statistically speaking, the risk is still very small that a child will be abducted by a stranger. You can read more about crime statistics on the Free Range Kids page.

I think common sense is key.

Always lock your car doors. Always take your keys with you. If you don’t feel safe doing it, DON’T.

What do you think? Is it ever OK to leave kids in the car unattended? Do you do it?

RELATED POSTS:

Photo used with permission.

Don’t miss a single CDG post, subscribe to my blog.

Play Matters

20140223-175126.jpg

We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. – George Bernard Shaw

It’s 11:41 p.m. on a Thursday as I lie in my bed listening to the murmur of my kids from the next room. They are very involved in their play — something that often occurs in the late hours of the night when one might typically expect children to be sleeping. But they play so well together in these late-night moments, creating elaborate stories, developing characters (tonight it’s a city of talking Matchbox cars), working through conflict, working on their communication skills, developing dialogue, and more. Who am I to interrupt them just because the clock says it’s nearly midnight?

20140223-175214.jpg

Play is the work of the child. – Maria Montessori

According to Dr. Peter Gray, a research professor of psychology at Boston College and acclaimed author:

Human children, who have the most to learn, play far more than any other primates when they are allowed to do so. Play is the natural means by which children and other young mammals educate themselves. The most important skills that children everywhere must learn in order to live happy, productive, moral lives are skills that cannot be taught in school. Such skills cannot be taught at all. They are learned and practiced by children in play. These include the abilities to think creatively, to get along with other people and cooperate effectively, and to control their own impulses and emotions.

Additionally, counseling psychologist Gayatri Ayyer says,

Research shows that playing is paramount to our physical, intellectual and socio-emotional development. The play I’m talking about here is the unstructured, spontaneous and imaginative escapades that we had in our childhoods; not the structured and organized sports of today. The benefits of playing are immense. They learn different academic concepts, the rules of behaviour with peers, manners, friendship, decision-making, conflict resolution, cooperation and competition.

Eventually I may ask them to wrap up their game for the night, but for now I am grateful that tomorrow (like most days) we have nowhere we must be in the morning. For now I will enjoy the sweet sound of my children getting along, the sound of imagination, the sound of play.

Play matters.

Related blogs:

Don’t miss a single CDG post, subscribe to my blog.

New Unschooling Blog by Zen Habits’ Leo Babauta

OK, I admit it. I’m a bit of a slacker when it comes to reading blogs. I’m all “hey, look at me! I have a blog. Read *my* blog!” And yet, <gulp> I rarely read anyone else’s. There are a handful that I try to keep up with, but unless someone specifically shares a post with me or I happen to stumble upon something that piques my interest on my own, I just don’t see it. I’m a little embarrassed about it, but I’m guessing I’m not alone in this. Am I? I have a hard enough time trying to keep up with the happenings under my own roof. :)

I guess that’s why I feel compelled to tell you about a blog that I actually AM reading — like every day even! Leo Babauta, creator of zen habits and mnmlist, recently started an unschooling blog called Unschoolery. My husband is a big fan of Babauta’s and told me a while back that he’d posted a bit about his family’s experiences with unschooling on zen habits. I liked what I read then and was even more excited when Jody told me the other day that Babauta dedicated an entire blog to unschooling. (So much so that I shared it with several unschooling friends and now I’m sharing it with you.)

leo-babauta-and-family

Why is it exciting that Babauta is writing about unschooling? #1) He’s intelligent. #2) He and his wife Eva have been unschooling four of their children for the past five years. #3) He’s passionate about unschooling and sharing the philosophy with others. #4) Thanks to his other blogs he’s already got a huge following. #5) He’s a best-selling author. #6) He’s a man. This might seem a little weird to point it, but most of the unschooling blogs I’ve come across to date are written by women. Perhaps more men/dads will be more open to the idea of unschooling as a result of this blog.

In addition, Babauta writes clearly and concisely about his family’s experiences with unschooling, yet does not claim to be an expert on the subject. In fact he even says, “We have a bit of experience, but we’re still learning. We still don’t know what the hell we’re doing. We love it.” I think that’s a sentiment many of us unschoolers can relate to. I feel like we are always learning, half of the time not knowing what we’re doing, and all the while loving it.

Some of the Unschoolery posts I’ve most enjoyed include:

Because Unschoolery is only a month old, I’m expecting a lot more great content from Babauta. If you are at all interested in unschooling, this is a great blog to read. I plan to keep up with Unschoolery – for information, encouragement and inspiration.

Photo by Eartha Goodwin

Don’t miss a single CDG post, subscribe to my blog.