BlogHer 2009 or bust???*

BlogHer '09 In Real Life
*Alternately titled: My Neuroses About BlogHer
Last year, as a blogging friend of mine and I sat at home on our computers attending BlogHer in Second Life instead BlogHer in real life in San Francisco, we made a pact that we would do whatever it takes to get us to the BlogHer Conference in 2009. Neither of us have yet to experience the awesomeness that is the BlogHer conferences. Sure, last year we participated in some of the BlogHer in Second Life events and that was a lot of fun, but nothing, I can only imagine, like actually attending the conference IN REAL LIFE, WITH REAL WOMEN.

Unfortunately, life circumstances beyond her control have made it difficult if not impossible for my friend to attend BlogHer this year. I really wanted to go with her, but I understand that there’s just not anything she can do to change it for this year.

I, on the other hand, was told yesterday that CEs (BlogHer contributing editors) had just one day left to register for the conference. Still unsure whether or not I would make it to Chicago in July, I filled out my registration, held my breath, and hit send. For all intents and purposes I could be at BlogHer in July. I’m now registered! But I can’t say with 100% certainty that I will be there.

I’m still working on some health issues and while I’m definitely seeing improvement and am pretty sure I will be doing a lot better by July, it’s always a crap shoot, ya know?

Also, due to the fact that my good friend can’t attend, I have no idea who I could room with. I wanted to stay with someone I’ve known in person, who really knows me (more than just what I put out on my blog). That’s not an option at this point, so what do I do? Post a BlogHer roomie want-ad and hope that I get someone I’m compatible with? Am I making too big of a deal out of the roomie situation? Does who you room with really matter?

I worry too that going without a close friend will leave me to fend for myself, something I’m not the best at doing. I’ve never been a social butterfly. I worry that everyone will already have their groups of friends they hang out with and that I won’t find a group to be a part of. Again, it’s probably silly, right? But it’s a fear of mine nonetheless.

My other concern is over how my son (who will be 2 1/2 at the time) will do without na-na (nursing) for the several days I’ll be gone. It will be my first time ever being away from my kids overnight. We’re working on night weaning with Julian right now and I don’t think that will be an issue come July, but what about nursing during the day? Maybe he’ll decide he’s done while I’m gone. Maybe that will be OK. Maybe he will start back up again when I return. Oh, there are so many questions.

And then there’s the question of how will I pay for my trip? Should I try to secure a sponsor or two to help with airfare and hotel? It certainly would make going a lot easier if I had some help paying for it. It all just seems so overwhelming.

I know, logically, that my kids will be fine, that my husband Jody is totally capable of caring for them in my absence. I know too that I could be fine at BlogHer. I might be nervous. There might be some uncomfortable moments for me, but I think that overall it would be an amazing experience. I mean, that’s why I wanted to go in the first place, right? To experience the awesomeness of it all. To meet the many women I’ve corresponded with only virtually over my past 4 years of blogging. To learn more about writing and to be inspired to be a better blogger (something I could really use as of late).

So what do you all think? Am I up for a trip to Chicago this summer or should I just lock myself in a padded cell? Will you be there (at BlogHer, not in my cell)? Do you want to sponsor me? And does anyone need a roommate? ;)

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